Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
my ex bf did a number on me. everyone says its not rape or ignores it. they dont care. i dont know if i can even call it rape or not.....i suffer from dpepression and low self confedence and this guy new it. we started going out and he used me i know that now. but he promised me everything i ever dream off. he promised me what he new i wanted. craved dreamed. we were best friends before we started going out. n hed slwoly nit pick at things or say stuff till i was always wondering what i was doing wrong. n he always wanted sex. he broke my dreams. we were having sex but h kept pressuring me do to stuff i wasnt comferble with during it. or hed just do it after i said no. " i promise i wont do it again, i promise" that was bullshit couse hed do it and he knew it hurt. he treated me like shit when we were together/ even dyllin steped in and told him to be nicer. to back off and dyllin never does that. fianlly we broke up. and hed emmbarsse me. hed steal my tanktop and bikina top when we were swimming and make me ride home like that. and he forced himself on me when we got home. whenever he got a chance hed do it. even with pl there he didnt care. he riducule me. one day after swimming with a group of ppl i was having a shower he came into the bathroom and stared. talking to me. he knew i didnt want him there i told him to get out. he didn listen. then he crawled in the showere with me and kept poking me i told him no and he kept doing it to he got what he wanted. he wouldnt stop. i said no over and over again everytime he wouldnt stop. but i didnt scream, i didnt use vilonce i couldnt at that point..... and theres so many other times he;d do that. i dont know what to think i get panic attacks and freak out and cry. i cant even have a shower and feel safe anymore. did i deserve this? was it rape? or was it my fualt?i need help this is killing me inside please
We all respond differently to trauma - it can be really hard to fight back and sometimes we just go into shock. What happened to you does sound like rape to me - all you should have to say is "no" or give some indication that you do not want something and people should get the hint. He didn't respect your boundaries because he is a selfish sociopath. You shouldn't have to do more than say no for someone to respect you.
I was in an abusive relationship where the guy raped me and also caused me a lot of psychological and physical harm. To this day people still don't acknowledge what happened including my family. It hurts a lot when people don't acknowledge what has happened to you.
Are you in any counseling? I have found the crisis centers to be useful to me. Like stoical said, you should focus on you now and what makes you happy because you deserve happiness. I'm so glad you broke up with him.
It's taken me a while to heal but I'm getting there. One of the things I have discovered is, usually the people who don't believe me have something else wrong - like my mom was in denial. That's why she said she didn't believe me. My ex's friends didn't believe me because everyone thought he was so charming and wonderful though one of his friends recently contacted me, apologized for not taking my side and said he was sorry for not realizing what this jerk was doing to me. So I say if someone doesn't believe me it's on their conscience, not mine. In the past year or so I have met some friends who do believe me and don't question it. You know what happened, and you know the truth - hold on to your truth. I believe you and I'm sure everyone else here believes you too.
Hang in there. Time will help you heal too. I'm so glad you are no longer with this person. You're very strong for making that decision.