I feel the same. I feel like I would get a lot more good out of moving away from this town and away from him than to confront him, freeze up and have a panic attack like I do if he's in the same room, and just cause something else to happen. While I try to trust therapists, I'm not sure that's very safe advice. I'd just do the whole write a letter you'll never send thing, that's what I did for a while.

i totally think you should never see him again......i mean if that's damaging to your mental health then stay away......i'm so confusedas to why your therapist thinks you SHOULD see him.....my therapist said that she wouldn;t be surprised if i never went back to that campus again....

Confronting one of my rapists was the BEST thing I have ever done in the way of healing. I cannot even begin to explain how great it felt... it was like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It made me feel so much stronger, and I wanted to confront him again! So I did... but this time online, and he said "You have already confronted me" haha so what, I thought he just needed a reminder of what a bastard he was.
What I confronted him, it was in a very public place (food court) my husband was in the building next to us... I had my cell with me. My husband said if ANYTHING happens then to hit send (his number was the last I called) and he will come over and beat the shit out of him. He also stressed to me not to hit send unless I absolutely have to... because one look at him and he would end up sending him to the hospital... I felt safe... It was seriously one of the best things I have ever done in my life. I took all his power from him, and I regained so much of my own.

I've been wrestling with the same thing... I feel like I NEED to do this to put it behind me. My husband would blow a gasket if he knew I wanted to do that so I don't know anymore. I believe it would help me, but I can't lie to H about it either. :(

I'm scared shitless - two of them I don't know, but one is my stepdad - I am afraid more for him than for me if I confronted him on this - I think I would lose it. I lost it on him badly once when he was beating my brother in front of me. I was little then; now I'm big. The overflow of emotion might be too much.

I dont really know why a therapist would suggest this....for a few reasons.
1. it could be very phsycially dangerous (unless your visiting him in prison or writing him a letter!)
2. this could cause you even more pain...flashbacks...anxiety
3. danger and more pain
4. rapists are sick ppl....they could laugh at you, deny it, make jokes, take your previous pain and make it worse, even creating new pain on top of that.

I dk....it's a really tricky thing...no matter how you look at it. You will never get the justice you deserve from this person.....until the day karma catches up to him in my opinion. You are simply better than him/her and deserve the best possible life you can have.
wishing you the best ((hugs))

I dream about the day I can confront him, then punch him in the face. I know this sounds horrible, but words wouldnt work. I imagine myself punching him then saying "NO, I dont forgive you" and then just walking away.
Its such a personal decision, no one can answer this question for you.

I don't know. I tried once and it did not work out so well. He just tried to tell me that I just interpret things wrong and then it started feeling like the abuse was going to happen all over again. Flashbacks were horrendous, I literally relived all the events. It was not pleasant. I even ended up being stalked by his wife. It was a pretty bad experience.

Unless it is well controlled it could lead to a bad situation. I think if I do it again I will find a way that it is well controlled and doesn't get out of hand like it did before.

I don't know. I tried once and it did not work out so well. He just tried to tell me that I just interpret things wrong and then it started feeling like the abuse was going to happen all over again. Flashbacks were horrendous, I literally relived all the events. It was not pleasant. I even ended up being stalked by his wife. It was a pretty bad experience.

Unless it is well controlled it could lead to a bad situation. I think if I do it again I will find a way that it is well controlled and doesn't get out of hand like it did before.

Honestly, I believe one day you may need to confront him.....but then again, take baby steps. If seeing him still causes you stress, don't rush into it. I confronted mine on MySpace back in like 08. He didn't respond after I said what I wanted to say. It hurt. I wanted to know why, ,and he didn't deny nor did he brag. I had prepared myself for both scenarios....would he feel remorse or would he not care....I didn't prep good for the fact he may not answer. But now, afterwards, I soon felt even if I saw him again, I wouldn't be as stressed as before. I think it helped me....
I don't really know your situation. Your therapist does, however, so tell her/him to explain to you exactly why you should do this. Ask her/him what would you gain from doing this.

I hope this helps even a little.