Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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Still feeling guilty

lav
lav
Even though 3 years have passed since I went through this most horrifying experience I still have such a hard time dealing with it!
The reason I feel so guilty is because I waited until about 6 months ago to finally break down and tell someone what had happened. I finally figured out that I didn't say anything because I was SO SCARED!!!!!!! How could this happen? All I was doing was getting some excercise. Why did it have to happen to me? And especially why didn't I fight back harder?
I hate myself because I waited so long to say anything! I have gone through so much agony deep within my soul. I don't trust the opposite sex, except my husband. Oh, and speaking of him, he was the one I was the most scared of letting know what happened. We have been married for 27 years now. How was I EVER going to tell him what had happened? Thank god I married someone who is so compassionate or I know I wouldn't be here today!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry you dealt with so much alone for so long. DO NOT be so hard on yourself....everyone tells in their own time. My parents felt horrible that I was terrified to tell them until two years after my assault. I had been drinking underage and thought they would be upset at that/blame me. Of course they didn't but sadly rape makes you think that way until you get enough help and tell enough times to get that it really isn't your fault. You did everything you could....don't ever doubt that. I used to ask myself why didn't I go off on my attacker the next morning when I woke up (I was drugged) but I learned after going through counseling that I was scared and went into survival mode to get out of there and be safe. You do what you have to do at that moment to get through it and survive. You ARE a Survivor and it IS NOT your fault! I'm here if you need to talk. I was blessed with my then boyfriend's support (now husband). *hugs*
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is nothing to feel ashamed or guilty for. maybe it took u three years cuz its hard to handle. this is not an easy thing to deal with and yet here u r dealing with it. give urself hugs and kudos instead of belittling urself. no reason for it. u r strong and a fighter. if u weren't u could not speak of it even now. yes u are lucky u have some one like ur husband but he is also lucky.
DeathByDegrees
DeathByDegrees
*hug* i still feel guilt...for putting myself in that position...for not reporting it...for not kicking his butt...
but as the time goes on, and i find more people who have been through the same thing, i realise that feeling guilty is normal. and im also realising that its not justified.
it was not my fault. (first time iv ever said that)...and it wasnt your fault. iv come to realise that i didnt fight more because my body was doing what it needed to do to survive. it wasnt a conscious response...its the fight or flight response, but in this situation, the freeze response over rides everything.

sorry im raving...but i hope some of this makes sense ay...