http://dailystrength.org/groups/resurrection-after-rape - A private, moderated discussion forum with survivors. Im active there.

http://www.cafepress.com/resafterrape - cool apparel for proud survivors

http://www.dancinginthedarkness.com/index.php - Awesome website of info

"Rape has long been considered a crime so unspeakable, so shameful to its victims, that they are rendered mute and cloaked in protective anonymity...The victims of rape must carry their memories with them for the rest of their lives. They must not also carry the burden of silence and shame..."
Nancy V. Raine, "After Silence: Rape and my Journey Back"

In order to be healed survivors of rape and sexual abuse must come out of the isolation and hiding. It takes untold courage to open up; telling someone what happened to you can be frightening as often the pain of the violence removes also your ability to talk. Because rape is still considered a distasteful subject, survivors of sexual abuse often suffer additional pain from the reactions of their friends and family. Their friends may be distant, minimize their pain or may even avoid them. People don't like discussing the subject of rape and may try to distance themselves from the event by blaming the victim. Perhaps they feel that if they can somehow place the blame on the victim, they will be invulnerable to rape themselves.

We are not taught how to deal with people that experience being victimized and most people do not speak out about rape for many years.
Don't Let Them Silence You.

Often unintentionally upsetting comments are made by friends or relatives, those closest to you and whose opinion you value the most. Some people may tell you that you should stop feeling sorry for your self, or that you are not being positive. Maybe they can't see any reason why you should be depressed and think that you can just snap out of it. If you had to deal with these kinds of reactions you know how hurtful it is, you wish the ground could open up and swallow you. Whenever this happens, please take a long breath and remember that they are the ones with a problem, not you. Don't let them silence you. They simply don't understand because they've never had to deal with it.

Most survivors had to learn on their own how not to let what others say or do affect them in a negative way. In time, you may also come to realize that most people dont intentionally mean to hurt you with their words. Some of them are just unprepared to deal with such sensitive and emotive issue and say things without considering the implications of their words or the deep impact that their comments could have on you.
Sure, some people's reaction is bound to hurt you but this doesnt mean that you should give up on the idea of finding support and understanding in others. There are people out there who do understand. Finding comfort and support in a friend can touch your soul in a way that words can barely express. These kinds of friends are priceless. Just be cautious about who you confide in and reveal sensitive details to. Tell some one who you feel will be there for you, understand and support you. Breaking the silence it's the first step to recovery. Every time you break the silence and trust someone, you are one step farther in your recovery journey.

Remember, you did nothing wrong. Don't be silent. Speak.


Tori Amos' Letter To Survivors
Dear Friends,

For the past two years, I've sung "Me and a Gun" at every concert as a way of healing the place inside myself that has been hurt, enraged, and numbed by violence. For many years, I shut down that place inside myself that needed to rage, cry, ask questions, and basically just express herself. I made a conscious choice when I put "Me and a Gun" on the record not to stay a victim anymore. You see, I was still a victim in my own mind from an experience that had happened a long time ago: I was torturing myself. Passion, joy, and love were not things I felt I could have or deserved anymore. I've been encouraged by wise ones, who taught me how to develop inner tools where I can understand these sacred places in my being.

It took me many years to make the decision to deal with this, but a bitter woman was what I was becoming and when I was young I always saw myself as a passionate woman. I would say, "Well, she's dead." and the wise ones said, "It's your choice, Tori, if you want to bring her back to life, you can. She's only been sleeping - alone, in a very dark corner. It's your choice and there is help out there."

I received a letter from a 13-year-old girl in Paris whose stepfather has been molesting her for years. She wrote: "If I had known a phone number which would have been able to help me, I certainly would have dialed it." So we can't go on being blind and dumb: You don't have to put the message with the help phone number out now. Maybe you'll never do it, because of different reasons. You won't be to blame for it. But, I want you to never forget that every day someone loses their dignity.
Healing takes courage and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it!
Love and support,
TORI AMOS

If you need help NOW call: 1-800-656-HOPE


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
-Maya Angelou