Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
"What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?
"Oh, Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "But when you are Real you don't mind that kind of hurt."
The Rabbit sighed. He longed to become Real, and yet the idea of growing shabby was rather sad. He wished that he could become Real without these uncomfortable things happening to him.
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become.
It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.
"But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"Oh, Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "But when you are Real you don't mind that kind of hurt."
The Rabbit sighed. He longed to become Real, and yet the idea of growing shabby was rather sad. He wished that he could become Real without these uncomfortable things happening to him.
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become.
It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.
"But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
cried too.
thank you for that.
In this life of recovery, we don't get there all at once, like the act of becoming 'real' in the story above, recovery is an act of 'becoming'. I am becoming recovered, and when I am, I can't be ugly, except to those who don't understand.
Touching story
I gave away my own childhood copy of this book to a very special person (and DS member) in June. I'd had it since I was four, and it found its way to a new reader.
This is tough, because I don't feel ugly; my insecurity is more about feeling foolish or stupid. I've got rocks thrown at me these days, and it's hard not to be one of those "people who break easily." So maybe for me, the lesson is "once you are real, you won't be rejected, except by those who don't understand."
I have two copies and loan them out to clients frequently.
NILY, by the way, is who I gave my childhood copy to.
thank you for sharing. =)
I remembered this post and sought to bring it back because we are all in a process...some of us to become 'real', some of us to become 'whole', some of us to become 'strong', some of us to become 'courageous', some of us to become 'forgiving', some of us to become 'forgiven'......but all of us are in the process of becoming.
Personally, I have never read the Velveteen Rabit. I believe that I need to. I would like to read it to the 12-year-old me, who should have read it many years ago. For me, I am in the process of becoming one with that little girl, and not a moment too soon.