i have been in the alcohol part of it but not the sex part, About 2 years ago i was always drunk and constantly drinking (even in school, id mix the liquor up in my milkshake) and it was to get rid of these feelings and memories and flashbacks, but then i moved to a place where i didnt know anyone and started a clean slate, even though i had help with my fiance, i barley knew anyone here and i was sober for a while and i learned that these emotions that i have about being raped are always going to be there drunk or not and that drinking isnt going to solve anything just make it worse, now it wasnt easy, i was addicted to it, but with support of someone who loved and cared about me i got through it, maybe one of your friends or family members can help you get through this, im also here if you need me, and also maybe you can try AA or sex therapy, it sounds weird but from what i heard it actually works. good luck with this, i was able to get through the drinking and with hard work and motivation i know you can get through it all also! also try to set standards and goals for yourself, like start out tiny baby steps and keep working your way forward to the big goal of not drinking or having sex outside a committed relationship. That might also help , or if you can get a good friend or a close family member make them a promise that you will quit, it makes it a little easier because of the fact that your not doing it for yourself, your doing it for someone you care about and love, and you dont want to break a promise to someone you care about and love, good luck and i hope this helped a little bit.

I've always been just the opposite.
I'm afraid of encounters with unknown females since I was raped because of the potential to become sexual.
And I never took anything that could impair me because I'm always afraid of negative consequences.... like getting hurt or killed.
I tell anyone that calls me a 'control freak' that's right. I'm always in control of me, despite of the rest of the world.
I can enjoy sex and scotch like any one else. Just ask my wife.
Even though I'm scared of HIV, herpes, or killing someone on the highway,....... the terror of being raped by a paid prostitute at 17 while other people laughed and watched is what always keeps me clear thinking and in charge of what happens with me.

Ain't never going to happen again. Even if I have to use my second amendment constitutional rights. Maybe I am a control freak.

I'll cut to the chase; Even though I am probably older than your fathers, I say this is still good choices by both of you gals.
I'd find a new group of people to be with. Ones that don't drink and preferably married so there's not a lot of sex pressure.
That's what I did. They set me and my wife up together too, because they felt sorry for us not able to fit the single crowd. And it's worked for over 28 years too.
You can't help but succeed with sober choices because you have valuable self worth, if this is what you actually want instead of parties and the misery from being assaulted.
You can't fail with straight family folk.
Tom S. in Tn.

www.resurrectionafterrape.org

There's an entire chapter about becoming promiscuous after rape and about how to choose to have healthy sex, when to know you're ready for sex, etc etc.

This book was my #1 go to in my recovery.

First up, quit the drink first, not forever but maybe for 3 months from what you are describing (and my own experience) the unhealthy sex follows the drinking. AA helped me quit and is worth a try I just don''t sign up to the whole never drink again thing. Next up, spend some time, maybe in counselling, while not drinking figuring what is going on for you. It seems to me that you are currently making sex a 'bad' thing, maybe that feels safer or maybe its a way of expressing a part of yourself that feels 'bad' either way this stuff needs to be figured out and you need to develop some self acceptance before getting back on the drink

What I am saying is just how it was for me, let me know how you get on,
M

Funny how people react differently to a similar event. I am a hermit myself and have no plans of having sex ever again. I guess I am a control freak like TomSinTn. I wonder if for me it is that I never saw myself as sexual to begin with. Do you see yourself as worthwhile only as a sexual object or was sexuality central to your being pre rape?

'Do you see yourself as worthwhile only as a sexual object or was sexuality central to your being pre rape? '

In response to this comment...
firstly I think it reads like a blaming comment that someone would say about themselves post rape
i.e. 'I saw myself worthwhile only as a sexual object or sexuality was central to my being thats why i was raped'

I'm sure it wasn't meant in that way but it is so easy to fall in to the trap of self blame rather than accept that something terrible happened that we wern't in control of. I think we all need to be careful when making such statements

peoples reaction to rape do differ but it is not unusual to act out sexually following rape. It happens, and I think it is important that we acknowledge that our reactions to trauma are just that, a reaction to trauma they are not a sign of a personality trait or personal defiect. If we start to do that we slip down a slippery slope that becomes harder to come back from the further we go.

I hope we can all learn to show ourselves and others compassion