I can't tell you what to do but I wanted to share this with you. I was raped by someone I knew and previously dated this happened 17 years ago. I did report it and go to the hospital, the detective, and the prosecutor where very supportive and the prosecuter said they would move forward with the case. I wasn't able to do it , I never persued it. I was young and scared, and in no shape to face the he said she said blame the victim stuff I knew I would face.
Six years later I got a knock on my door I had moved had a child and finally had grown up and had become a strong woman and felt happy and in control of my life. I was told the person who had attacked me had murdered and raped a young woman and was going to be all over the news and they wanted to let me know. I did testify in a hearing involving that case and faced him in court.
I have to tell you I felt so strong and great afterward. I met 15 of his other victims( there were way more than that. He is now in jail for life, he apparently started raping when he was a teen. I am telling you all this because I understand what you are saying about not emotionally being ready to do this, I couldn't do it. Years later, after alot of healing and growing I was able to testify to help someone else, and in turn it did help me. I don't know your situation, or the laws in your state as to pressing charges without the victim. This may not be helpful, I just think you have to do what you think Is best for you, and I would see a therapist for help in figuring out what to do. I am sorry you are going through this and I will keep you in my prayers that you find the answer and some comfort.

You have to do what is right for you . maybe the law know something that you dont ??? I was 15 when my abuse came to light about my dad and because I was under 16 it had to be reported so I know what you mean you have no choice . feel betrayed I stood in court and spoke up but unfortunately it did not get a conviction .I noow think this was the best thing that was done even though I did not want it i showed him that I was willing to tell what he did and show I was not afffraid of him and that there would always be suspicion as people knew he had been charged with rape so he wouldl be watched and not able to do this agaion three years ,later he was dead . sorry did not mean this to be about me . just wanted you to know that if it does get taken out of your control that working through with support / therapy could help with your healing process . here if you want to talk .

best advice I can give is if you have any doubt that you wanna press charges don't say anything....once you say his name there isn't much you can do........you can't back out of it without risking being charged for filing a false police report (at least thats how it is where I am, cops out here are pretty strict)