Firstly, I have to say this question is highly offensive. There is plenty of material out there on male tape that you could have read without posting in here and invalidating any number of male survivors.

So, on the off chance you actually want to know and aren't being purposefully mean..

What about it don't you understand?

A man can be forced to comply in just as many ways as a woman. Bearing in mind that men are taught to not hit women, it is even more confusing when they don't feel like they can fight back. Plus, if they did fight back the woman could say it happened the other way around.

Physical arousal does NOT equal consent. All body parts react as they were built when touched even if the woman or man have no interest in doing anything.

*rape not tape..stupid iPhone

I am not sure either because a man will always have more power over a women. Its in their nature. You would think if it was happening then the man would stop it. At least if I was a man I would. If I was more powerful when I was raped I would of stopped so I'm not sure how to answer this because I'm just as confused as you are.

I did not mean it offensive at all. Ive just always wondered how that happens. I guess I just figure men are way more dominant than women and it is pretty easy to push a woman off, i dont see how a woman can hold a man down to do that. I understand that arousal doesnt mean consent as it is easy to get someone aroused, male wise. Men are almost always stronger than women from what Ive understood. Again I didnt mean any offence and Im sorry if I hurt anyone from my post.

Since when was physical power the determining factor in what defines a rape and what does not? Are women only raped if they were beaten into submission? Why is that suddenly the rule where men are concerned??????

Drugs, alcohol, weapons, blackmail, coercion, threats against others, etc. are all common weapons in rape. The use of superior physical force to to beat a person into submission is the exception, not the rule.

This is my story. I am not as unusual as many would think:

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/ive-got-the-t-shirt-and-the-trauma-response-to-go-with-it/

Let's stop spreading the "rape is only rape if you are beaten" myth. It is ugly and hurtful.

This is an article I wrote about rape myths faced by male survivors:

http://goodmenproject.com/on-rape-and-sexual-violence/male-rape-survivors-and-victim-blaming/

Men can be raped in the same way that women are.. on behalf of the men in the group.. I guess I don't get your question. If the person is a child they have as little (no) control as a girl does. If they are an adult, it isn't always a question of strength. There are other factors that contribute to our ability to speak up for ourselves, to resist, to feel confident that anything may work.

In addition, I admit being a female this may not be dead on, but from what I have read there is pressure for men that is implied by your very question.. as in.. what man would say no? I think that often men don't feel that they can speak up and place boundaries on their body due to cultural and society's expectations and fear of the results of what that may mean/if she tells others.. what she tells others.

At the end of the day I guess I am trying to say is that in my opinion, being a victim of rape isn't a question of who was physically stronger.

I can see how the myth builds up especially if you have been taught, and shown through rape, that men are stronger than women but think of it this way:

If men are so universally strong, why do we teach self defense to women to use against men? We do it because strength is by the by when you have the right positioning.

During my rapes I probably could have physical fought back but there was always a sense of not making too much of a deal about it. Now, this is coming from a place of believing my strength is none existent so a shove would do little to change the outcome. Had I been a man who knew I had strength...that would make it harder for me to fight back.

It works on an individual basis the whys and what nots but if someone is on top of another, the advantage is always on the person holding the other down.

Also bear in mind that men are not superheroes with super human strength.

I hope this will help you to learn that women aren't always subservient to men. This is what abuse teaches us. Women can be and are just as manipulative, just as physically strong and just as capable of rape and abuse.

It may be harder for a woman to rape a man, but it can/has happened. If men were always dominant, I would not have been able to escape when an ex-boyfriend attempted to rape me.

What if the man is tied up? drugged? What if the woman is physically bigger than the man? (It happens). What if the female has a gun? Or maybe the man was ganged up on.

As a female victim of rape, I find it hard to get support and that really makes it hard for me to recover. It must be at least ten times harder for a man to gain that support/understanding.

This isn't a rape story but if anyone has seen the movie "Horrible Bosses" One of the characters was a man being severely sexually harrassed by his female boss. The complete lack of understanding he received when he complained about it is probably an accurate reflection on the attitudes that male rape victims have to deal with.

Just because a person doesn't understand how it can happen, doesn't mean it can and DOES happen.

Yes, men TEND To have more muscle mass than women. We also TEND to have higher lung capacity and more endurance when it comes to self-defense. This is what is often the norm. However not every man is stronger than every woman. Also, men can be raped under a variety of circumstances. Some men are attacked by one pepetrator and other times, they are gang r*ped. I was raped by a male nurse's aide while in a hospital bed and unable to breathe on my own. I use a wheelchair to get around and my physical therapist is female. The fact that she's a woman doesn't stop me from getting horrible flashbacks whenever I am in therapy with her and she puts her hands on me.

I have told certain healthcare workers (therapists, nurses, social workers) that I was raped, and one of the MOST common responses is, "I don't even understand how that can happen." or sometimes, "Is that even possible?" I didn't realize it was possible until it was happening to me. I wish I could say it wasn't possible.

Male rape survivors often struggle to find support and understanding in a system that is mostly focused on helping women heal. The stereotype that men are always the aggressors and women are always the victims is very strong and even therapists can subscribe to it. But it doesn't accurately reflect the reality that a grown man can be forced into sexual acts against his will and he can be as deeply hurt and traumatized as a female victim.

I shouldn't even have to be saying this!

Thank you everyone, I think you answered my question. Again I hope I didnt offend anyone as that was not my intention and it was narrow minded of me to think the way I have, I defianly have a better understanding now.

A man can be drugged and tied up. And what about little boys.

There are so many ways a man can be raped. He can be drugged, threatened with a weapon, tied up, or even blackmailed or mentally intimidated into believing he has no choice but to cooperate. And so far as thinking a man won't get hard unless he's aroused, that's bull. Stress erections can be cause by things as harmless as adrenaline due to sports activities, the onset of puberty, or a traumatic event such as a woman threatening to yell rape if you don't give her what she wants. It's so much harder for men to find help when they're the victims of sexual assault than it is for women. Not to mention the complete lack of understanding from most of our society...including so-called "professionals."

#13;
" or even blackmailed or mentally intimidated into believing he has no choice but to cooperate. And so far as thinking a man won't get hard unless he's aroused, that's bull. "

Speaking as an adult victim of teenage rape by authoritative females, please underscore what Wasit has written.

" or a traumatic event such as a woman threatening to yell rape if you don't give her what she wants. It's so much harder for men to find help when they're the victims of sexual assault than it is for women. Not to mention the complete lack of understanding from most of our society...including so-called "professionals. "

40 years later, I'm still victimized anytime I see a case where society condones sex with underage males as being 'lucky'.
And no, there is no such thing as therapy for men.
Milf Cougar........ simply too much to have to cope with.
Tom S. in Tn.

I do not believe by the tone of your question that you intended to be mean.

I am going to add my 2 cents in here.

In working with survivors, many times men are taught from when they are young boys, not to hit or be aggressive to women. They experience the same paralyzing fear, and often blame themselves because their body reacted.

You do not need to be weak to be assaulted whether man or woman.

You cannot imagine how damaging it is to be taught to be a MAN and then to be violated.

It is a whole other level of pain, and in most cases shame. Add to this the fact that many survivor groups are specifically geared towards women. and the added shame of the everyday person wondering why they didn't stop it etc.

It does not surprise me at all that male rape is signifigantly underreported.