Congrats on the speaking engagement . The effects on the social systems is a large on there is the hole family group. Weather the except what happened or not and weather the believe the victim. This can tear some family's apart which in turn have lasting effects on all aspects on the lives of every one in that family. Where it is school or work the stress of this issue does have effects on the social system which does cause a drain on the system. The one fact that I think that I would want them to know is that less then half of all rapes are not reported which does put a strain on the social systems because with not reporting it they use services that they need but someone has to pay for the services.

Follow your heart. You are very insightful and have a connection with survivors like I have never witnessed. It is difficult, as a survivor, to remove myself from any scenario of effect, so you have your work cut out for you. Please tell me if I am correct in my evaluation of this request. If we [survivors] were a 'pebble'; the 'social systems' are the pond; what you are asking is 'what are the ripples'? And, if that is correct; (much as I hate to admit it), are there not two 'pebbles' cast? Would not the other 'pebble' be the rapist causing his own set of 'ripples' on 'the pond'? This is simplistic, but is this what you want from us, to identify the ripples?

Hi Empowered,

Firstly I am really pleased for you that you have an opportunity like this - not only because it will aid rape victims but I sense this is a passionate cause you in which thrive to make better and you have a chance to help. I wish you the best of luck and am sure you will do us all proud x
Secondly - your question in terms of social systems. This has affected my whole life, it has affected my family and my partner. The level of stress and distress has been overwhelming at times. It has outwardly affected my local GP, the mental health services, my work and my physical health. ALL these services I have had to use to get better and overcome the problems that remain. I have constantly taken up time seeing my GP, I have seen counsellors and psychotherapists and my paid work has suffered to the point of a lot of sickness unable to do my job. Am I on the right track, I'm not sure if I've misinterpreted 'social system'? Socially I find it hard to show my feelings to my partner and as he often says 'he doesn't know what to expect when I arrive home from work; what mood I'll be in - happy, sad or angry. He is the only serious partner I have ever had yet it affects him just as much. He gets depressed and frustrated which in turn affects everyone around him. For me, I have made other people unhappy because I've been unable to share my own unhappiness and taken it out on them. I'm not a bad person but I don't have that many friends. I have issues with trust and sometimes find it hard to connect to people.
Hope this helps in some way. The very best of luck x
p.s I am actually in the UK so I'm not if my information counts.

Thank you for all your helpful replies!

Can I follow up with some specific questions?

I'm going to be speaking to people form law enforcement, medical business, legislative, and religious occupations. What I'd like to convey to them is that each of them has some point of relevance to the issue of rape trauma and recovery, rather than it all being a medical or mental health issue as it's usually minimized.

When you look back, what have been the financial costs of rape? Consider the time missed from work, medications, counseling costs, medical costs, divorce costs, everything.

How has rape affected you professionally? Is your employer willing to offer job protection while you receive counseling services or medical care? Have you ever lost a job for a reason somehow connected to rape, and is there some insight that you would want to see expressed to business leaders?

What is the role of schools or colleges? If there was any effort at prevention education, was it good? If there were no education programs, do you think it would have helped you if there had been? Would information provided to young people have helped you? Why do you think there isn't much?

What are churches doing--or not doing--about the issue of rape? What is a minister's responsibility when it comes to this epidemic?

What should politicians do or say to help? What political errors have set back the women's anti-violence movement?

I know I'm asking a lot, but your time will be worth it--I plan to read actual excerpts of YOUR responses to the audience, which will be made up of fairly powerful connected people.

I don't know if this fits in anywhere, but if there were awareness on what to do if you are a victim (I'm thinking high school) what they need to do if they were assaulted. It seems a lot of people were not aware that they need to go to the ER asap after the assault, not shower, ect, for best chances of evidence on the body for the assault. If the community is aware of what they need to do, maybe more victims will report the crimes, and rapists less likely to commit assaults, if they know there is a bigger chance they will suffer for their crimes.

This is great news! And yes... I have no doubt that you'll do us proud! Thank you so much for caring enough to step up and do the things you do. You are making a difference!

First, about services offered to help us... where I live there are none. I understand that the problem is bigger and more pressing in cities than in rural area's, but it happens here, too. In my small community there are nine churches within a 10 mile stretch and not one of them is equipped to help rape victims. How can that be???

I also know that due to rape, many women become trapped. There is no counseling service available that goes to the women, when they need it most. In my opinion, that would be an incredible gift to many, many women.

I have no idea how to calculate the financial loss it incurred. I did have to quit my job directly related to rape reasons. I was an office manager at an employment agency. It did affect our family, but aside from financially, the affects were actually positive. (I hated having to be away from my little one and wanted to be a stay at home mom.)

Not sure I'm getting at what you're looking for so I'll give it some more thought.

Thanks--keep 'em coming! Remember, this is your chance to be HEARD by a group of politicians, police, ministers, and lawyers! This is an invitation to use your voice to educate the clueless!

I would like for you to tell the pastors the statistics... it's almost a guarantee that there is at least one woman in their congregation that has been raped. (I go to a small church (about 50) and personally know of three of us. I have no doubt there are others.) Anyway... they need to understand and really grasp that this is like a black hole in the area of ministry. It's 'unmentionable' and the topic is avoided. That leaves those that are hurting stuck in silence in the one place we KNOW our healing lies... with God and our spiritual family. There is training, there are many resources to become equipped to deal with this... are they willing to become a place of refuge for women that have been raped? (Whether those women hold the same beliefs or not?) Are they willing to take this issue back to their congregations and find out if there are any that would be willing to step forward and learn so that they could help when the need arises? Would they be willing to help us just by breaking the silence and getting rid of the shame?

As far as what funds are allocated by the state, I would LOVE to see the purchase of an RV that would be taken to a number of rural area's each month (at a set time), that a trained rape counselor could operate out of. They could set up a support group in each area that could meet in the RV - as well as on their own once they get it established. It could be used as an office for appointments - just park it in an accessible place to the surrounding area. Or it could be taken to an individual's home. Agoraphobia is a rampant problem for rape victims and funny enough, you have to GO to an appointment to get help. That's ludicrous in my opinion. We should be getting help 'to them' ... and in a reasonable time, the women can then step out and get to an appointment elsewhere.

I know that's a pipe dream... but hey, I'm good at dreaming. :o)

If having a rape kit done costs the victim in your state, that should be abolished! It is a matter of collecting physical evidence from a 'crime scene' and should be done at no cost! If your home has been burglarized, the police don't charge a fee to come and collect evidence!

When I reported my rapist to the police as a historical case it didn't feel like it was as important as other cases going on at the time. I felt the Police were just following the rules with little attention to detail so they could quickly wrap the case up. I didn't feel they treated me with respect or as a vulnerable person and would often huff and puff at me! For me, this exasperated my distress and made the whole process even more stressful than it had to be. I also felt they still need to learn what to expect from a victim of rape because however long ago it actually happened I still experienced all of the awful symptoms of trauma.
In terms of career progression this has really been affected because of my anxiety and nerves. I obviously can't be certain on where I'd be now on the career ladder but I wonder if I'd be further on than I am.
I have had to pay for some of my treatment too which also affects my quality of life because the services are not available or there are huge waiting lists.

Okay, this is what I came up with, hope it is what you need.
1) COST - This is almost incalculable, but I'll try. This won't be true of everyone, but it is true for me.
A) Financial: Lost time from work = salary/time off lost or used up. Puts employee in a precarious situation if they are not in an assembly-line type job. The stress of being afraid of losing your job makes recovery tougher, feeding the cycle. PTSD is almost an inevitability with rape. It may not rear it's ugly head for quite some time. When it does, every facet of your life is in chaos. Family, friends, jobs, nothing is untouched. Is there such a thing as Temporary/Short-term Disability, state/federally funded with patient's having the ability to choose their own counselor/psychiatrist so that quality is not an issue.

I am sure all state's systems are not tainted, but locally, our psychological services available to patient's on an 'ability to pay' fee schedule have specific, in-house therapists/counselors and they are over-worked and this prevents some from getting the best care, or from seeking any care at all. It COULD work on a voucher system. The fees providers charge are ALREADY overseen by the government. If so many vouchers, at a certain amount, were made available to victims in need of counseling, they could negotiate for care with their own therapist, or pay the difference if they chose. Choice is control, and control is what we desperately need in every aspect of our lives, but especially in our therapy. If the vouchers represented actual monies, like a money order/cashier's check, the providers would have no reason to refuse enrollment, like so many do with publically funded programs. The vouchers should also extend to MEDICAL care that is associated with the PTSD so that physical isues made worse by PTSD could be approached without taxing whatever health insurance a person may have.

Locally, too many therapists have chosen not to accept certain insurances, or the insurance company 'allowables' are so small that they will accept you as a patient but you have to pay full fee in advance, and they will file for your reimbursement. There are not alot of people, even if they are not indigent, it is not affordable. You end up choosing between house payment, car payment, or mental health.

I have lots of ideas, but I'll start small and let you tell me if you'd like more.

My next item is Business:

Businesses could get involved by partnering with a TV station, Radio station or newspaper and pay for Public Service Announcements that are designed to make rape known as what it is, a violent crime. In our county, there are PSA's that are played on the rock stations that I listen to telling young women what to do in certain circumstances, which doubles as a warning for young men, what not to do. But rape is still a CLOSET CRIME. No one wants to talk about it because it has a sexual overtone to it. But it is real and someone has to make people aware of how devastating it is for the person raped. I would think the most attention-getting ads would be like the ones TRUTH does to make the public aware of what the tobacco industry is doing. We need someone to discuss it as a matter-of-fact issue. Rape is what it is, and it needs to be a crime brought to the forefront. There is a youtube video that someone sent me that has in the background the numbers of women raped [like little stick figures] and dissolves into percentages by turning the women figures a different color. It's like if 100 women fill the back ground and the % they are talking about is 25%, 25 of the figures change color. All the stats are displayed, it makes the effect staggering. Rape is more a pandemic than the isolated incidents that people are comfortable believing.

It is uncomfortable to discuss, but, I am less and less afraid to speak out. I want, more than anything, for your keynote speech to affect the audience, to inspire change.

Religious leaders need to become ivolved. It is not a church vs. state issue. It is a church serving God through their community issue. We, as Christians, celebrate a 'Sanctity of Human Life' Sunday. What would be wrong in a Sunday dedicated to the proper treatment of women as God created them to be treated. Yes, we do that on Mother's Day, but this must be separate. And every Pastor should be educated and specifically trained to participate as part of a "Rape Response Team' that arrives at the hospital witht he police and counselors to offer spiritual support and support to the families involved. Pastors have got to stop thinking of rape as a sexual issue and lear to speak openly against the violence against women, many of whom are in their pews every week.

Politicians need to simply get informed and get involved. Proportionately more monies are allocated to concerns less pandemic than rape. They must listen to statistics, understand these do not represent all the facts, and allocate funds appropriate to the need.

I am sorry this is so long, and excuse the typos as I did not re-read this as I typed. Tell me if this is too much information and I won't add anymore. I would stand before Congress and tell the sordid details of my gang rape if I thought it would help. I hope what you are doing is 1/2 as sucessful as I think you are going to be. God Bless!

Oh yeah, as for the cost of drugs. I spend $300.00+ a month for medication for depression, an effect of my PTSD. I am also a nurse who participates in numerous 'Pharmaceutical Dinners' that are hosted for medical professionals to detail their drugs. If they [drug companies] could get tax dividends or cuts to supply medications to rape victims, it could save both parties a bundle. These dinners they host cost hundreds or upwards of a thousand dollars a night, and they host sometimes 8-10 a month, not to mention feeding the office staffs at clinics, our office has 38 employees, at $10.00 per, x by five days a week...you do the math. Thousands of dollars are spent in advertising, because that is a tax break. Make the tax break more advantageous to give the drugs away, or make some of the more popular meds available at a minimal cost per month. ....
Sorry, my mind is churning.:)

Can I add the suggestion that you widen your survivor scope, women are not the only victims of abuse and neither are men the only ones who rape and abuse. That is one fact that is overlooked so many times and it shouldn't be as it is just as damaging or worse cause it is so taboo.

Yes, I think freeflowpoet has a very good point there. Knowing that rape/sexual abuse is so common in male-only environments like prisons or the military, that's got to have a knock-on effect on society generally and violence against women.

I agree with you completely, freeflowpoet. It is a human issue... not just a woman's issue.

Wow! I so agree with every post here. If the public, all facets, could approach rape/sexual violence as a universal social issue so many more people could be helped. Survivors are a community of wounded, and astoundingly resilient souls. Why, when rape is such a prevalent crime, are we keeping those statistics quiet. I personally would like to see ads on TV that show the statistics, show the NUMBERS. I was actually apalled at the percentage of men who have been assaulted. Too few people know this fact and when they do hear it, they make unfair assumptions due to close- minded, rumor mill mentalities. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER AND SOMEONE HAS TO TEACH THE PUBLIC THE TRUTH ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE. Dear, wonderful empowered; what an opportunity you have and we here are all united behind your efforts. You have given so freely of yourself here and you are highly regarded. I personally appreciate what you have done for me. This is such a passionate issue for me. I want your audience to know that the effects of this trauma do not fade with time; I was raped 38 years ago. Just when we feel we have it licked...BANG, it's back!

Maybe, when you are speaking to these people, you could make a quick headcount and then have them physically move to smaller groups, and then disclose that one of the small groups represent statistically, the number of men raped, women raped... and when you finish your alloted time, tell them how many americans wee raped while you were speaking.MAKE THEM SEE and make them hear how many of us there are. Tell them they have a chance to make history by being the first state to admit and understand what this crime is and how it reaches every social boundary, every gender boundary, every age boundary....there is no set of circumstances rape does not effect. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm on a soap box. I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but....you asked. God bless you Empowered, because you are helping us to be [empowered].