Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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June is a rough month for me

lovebaby8
lovebaby8
Hey I am new here but I remember when I was attacked it was in the month of June. My mom was away in China teaching English he was a really good friend of mine when I found out he wanted a relationship and I didn't he started to push it. He wouldn't back off at all. He started stalking me and showing up at my work. Then he would show up at my house when he got off work. The police never did anything. One day I forgot to lock my door at home and he came in about 2:00am. I was 22 and still a virgin I was saving myself for marriage but he took that from me. At the time he did this he was married. I am now 25 and my boyfriend is getting ready to propose to me and its like I have no sex drive. My boyfriend has been really nice and he never presses me but its like I don't care if we have sex or not. Plus I have chronic pain from rheumtoid arthrtitis. You would think after 3 years I would try to get in to it. Maybe one of these days I guess. I see this guy around town and I just freeze up whenever I see him. When I graduated college in 2010 he graduated the same day as well.
Faultedstars
Faultedstars
I'm sorry about what happened to you....and I understand cause I lost my virginity by being raped. It has caused problems for me sexually.....I do not mind sex but tend to go emotionally numb during it.....I have gone to counseling which has helped....you might wanna try to find some books maybe that address becoming sexual after assault...I hear some of them are helpful
goingup
goingup
Big hugs to you, that is terrible that rapist took your virginity by breakin into your house. I want to say, it happened to me in june too, my sexual assault/rape and I was also a virgin/saving myself/had never been penetrated in any way. Its such a terrible experience and a loss. Are you seeing a therapist or anything? They can perhaps help you find ways to heal the trauma that is affecting your sex drive and causing you to freeze when you see him. Ask yourself what are some things you could do when you see him to feel more powerful? I like to imagine if I saw my rapist, I had a gun and would shoot him if he came after me. I tell myself no matter what he does, I will win. Also, resurrection after rape is a great workbook I'd recommend.
I wish you the best in your recovery journey xx
ashleynicole30
ashleynicole30
the first time i was raped, i was 17 and still a virgin (saving myself for marriage) that happened august 28th 2008 and the second time i was raped it happened august 19th 2010. so i really have issues with that month, its like i want to lock myself up in a room and not come out for the whole month. but you will be able to get past it. i really suggest talking to a therapist about it. my best wishes to you. (((hugs)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I too was a virgin when I was raped. I went the opposite way of you girls tho. It shames me to say. I couldnt stand the thought of my virginty being taken in that way so I sought out sex almost immediatly after it happened. I wanted it to be special and MY choice so I selpt around. Not the best choice and I know it was destructive now though I didnt at the time I of course wouldnt recommend to anyone going thru this to do what I did. I guess I wanted to feel in control which is why I allowed men to sleep with me even though I know I woldnt have had I not been raped. I have come along way since then and I know now ways to calm myself down whenI start having flashbacks and night mares and am now in a happy and healthy marriage with a man who is supportive and loves me My point is that even though it seems like it it wont ever get better. it does and if you ever need support or a friend I am here to help.
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