HI, I just joined (litterally). I've been raped i don't know how many times. It stopped January 6 2013. This kid in youthgroup would rape me in between church, every week, for about 2 years. Sorry if this post is choppy, My brain is so scattered. So, the last time was the hardest. I finially got the gumption up to tell the teen boy's mom. She just brushed it off saying, "He can't help it. He's autistic." I left it alone. But it wasn't until a month later that my closest friends started to notice somthing different. My walk pattern. Then I brushed it off, saying, "It's nothing, I just twisted my ankle." Well, add another 2 months, and other changes started to happen. I finially started to get concerned, so when I was at my best friends house, I stole a pregnancy test from her mom's bathroom. What happened 30mins later is what had me concerned. I was pregnant. The only way that could be possible was from the said date above's occurance. But with that little stick, my world was flipped upside down. I told nobody, yet somehow he found out. On wednesday, about 2 months before my dut date (which was oct. 19, 2014) he beat me severly in the somach, resulting not only in a hemotoma, but in the loss of my child. It was going to be a boy, so I named him Shemuel Johannan. Marking that God had apointed this unto me and had granted this child the mercy from living in this hardend world. I still grieve for his life, as tonight would be his 2nd birthday had Shemmy lived. I burried him, wrapped in my favorite scarf, in the woods, about 5 rows in the woods. Our road dead ended at the woods, so that's headed from the middle. He's buried under the only birch tree there, a little lupine and dandylion patch over his grave. I still weep, having moved from there. Atleast I know where he is burried. But nobody else knows. I have tried counseling, but it didn't work. She (my counselor) recomended here instead. I hope tis isn't too much.