Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
So it started as meeting online and talking a lot. There was plenty of suggestive talk as well as exchanging of pictures. We went out once to dinner which was normal and nice so we kept talking. He invited me to his apartment and I went on a Saturday night. One thing he never did was kiss me. He kept giving me drinks all night and even pushing for me to keep up with him. I got extremely drunk and he told me to go to bed. I was near passed out and he took my clothes off and had sex with me the entire night. I don't remember all of it but I do remember a camera being used to take pictures and record which I didn't like. I just wanted to sleep but he didn't stop. By the next day when I woke up, he had made a point to explain how the pics and video show I loved it. He said I needed to leave bc he had things to do, once again no kisses just a pat on the butt as I went out the door. I'm so confused. What was all that?
https://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/was-it-rape
Do both people have the capacity to consent? States also define who has the mental and legal capacity to consent. Those with diminished capacity for example, some people with disabilities, some elderly people and people who have been drugged or are unconscious may not have the legal ability to agree to have sex.
These categories and definitions vary widely by state, so it is important to check the law in your state. You can call your local crisis center or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE to find out more about the laws in your state.
Did both participants agree to take part? Did someone use physical force to make you have sexual contact with him/her? Has someone threatened you to make you have intercourse with them? If so, it is rape.
It doesnt matter if you think your partner means yes, or if youve already started having sex No also means Stop. If you proceed despite your partners expressed instruction to stop, you have not only violated basic codes of morality and decency, you may have also committed a crime under the laws of your state (check your states laws for specifics).
I was asleep or unconscious when it happened does that mean it isnt rape?
Rape can happen when the victim was unconscious or asleep. If you were asleep or unconscious, then you didnt give consent. And if you didnt give consent, then it is rape.
I was drunk or they were drunk - does that mean it isn't rape?
Alcohol and drugs are not an excuse or an alibi. The key question is still: did you consent or not? Regardless of whether you were drunk or sober, if the sex is nonconsensual, it is rape. However, because each state has different definitions of nonconsensual, please contact your local center or local police if you have questions about this. (If you were so drunk or drugged that you passed out and were unable to consent, it was rape. Both people must be conscious and willing participants.)