If you said no and he still tried to force you then it is rape, sometimes rapist have ways in which to control people and trying to make them give in. He should have respected your boundries. You were just trying to protect yourself by the condom thing , I think that is very brave of you to ask him that. When I got raped , I just froze sometimes I wonder if it was rape or not because I didn't fight back but I just froze and let him take off my clothes it was horrible I didn't want him to and i wasn't going to do it when he asked me to so he did it himself, but I always wonder if I could have done more could have fought more.

Legally it's still rape even if you asked him to use a condom in california.

Yes, I'd say this is still rape. You didn't consent to sex.

Hi Cour2520,

Yes, this is still rape. You just did what you could to protect yourself at that time, and gain a little control over the situation to help you to get through it.

I kept begging my attackers to use a condom and for a long time it has made me wonder if that was me giving my consent. I thought surely because I even mentioned that I wanted them to use a condom, meant that I was telling them that I wanted them to do it to me, but it didn't. You have to do what feels right at the time to survive and get through it alive and with the best outcome possible - if that makes sense.

I think you are very brave.

So well put, Phoebe23. Totally agree.

I agree with everyone above, it was definitely still rape, even if you asked him to used a condom... You knew you had no other choice, it was going to happen even if you didnt want it to, and I think that was your way of getting just a little bit of control. I think you are very strong and very brave to even ask that of him! In all of my situations, I had never had the courage to hardly utter more than a no, or a scream into a pillow, let alone ask them to protect my health. Be proud of yourself for speaking up!