We all heal in our own time. There is no set time table. I have been on the roller coaster of healing for almost six years now. There are days when I have to force myself to go to work and others that thankfully pass quickly. There are always going to be ups and downs, good days and bad days. But if you take it one minute at a time, it gets easier to make it through each new day. Inhale for a count of five and exhale for a count of five, repeat until you feel calm. Take it one step at a time, one minute at a time. Trust me it does it start to get easier to live and go outside. Not all at once, it takes times, but slowly happens. Also, please remember and try the breathing, it's something I still do.

It takes time and TLC. Go at your own pace. I have had almost two years for rape one and 8 months for rape two.
There's no time limit.

Dear little flower,

I can absolutely relate to what you're currently feeling because I feel that way too.

What helps me is every morning I remind myself that I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor of rape. And I also remind myself every evening that I've survived another day. It may not seem like much but it is! Give yourself some credit! You've been through an experience no one should ever go through and you survived!

Every day you get a little bit further on your recovery road. Yes there will be bad days and sometimes it may feel like they never end but they do.

We survived rape <3 we can do anything and with little to a lot of time (in my case), we will heal.

I don't feel like I've survived. Dying would have been better or just as good.

You are a survivor! Death wouldn't have been better/good. Just think of how your family would've felt if you were gone from them. Plus if you'd died that'd meant the rapist won and that's definitely not a good outcome.

You say you don't want to talk about it, you should talk about it instead of keeping it in because that's not good for you not only emotionally but it can get to you physically too.

As others have said it's not a race to the finish line to get over it and move on. It'll be 27 years this November for me and I have healed, but sometimes (not alot) the memories do come back. But I survived as will you! So open up and let it out, if not on this board, find a counselor or a rape crisis center counselor. Don't try to do this alone. Big hugs!

My family doesn't care. I come from an abusive family.
I have a counselor but I don't want to tell her about what happened because she'd have to report it.

I understand as I came from an abusive "family" too.

Dr.'s have an oath on keeping whatever you say confidential unless you say otherwise, so I'm a bit confused on why she'd have to report it, unless it's an immediate family member.

I can relate to you I didn't want to talk about what happened either my boyfriend is the only one I told and even then I didn't really tell him everything I thought if I didn't talk about it then it.didn't happen but I'm starting to talk to.him about what happened and I joined another support group and it's really helping me just take your time and u will know when ur ready

Gregor.
It was my brother

Omg gosh I'm so so sorry it was him. I know you're hurting but he really needs to be charged for his crime. He should never be able to see the light of day ever again! I know you say you're family is abusive and you probably don't want them to know about this for fear they won't believe you, that's why I said talk to a counselor. So what that he gets reported, he deserves it! If that was my brother that did that to me he'd be dead to me and I wouldn't give 2 s**ts what happens to him.

I'm not reporting it.

If you just focus on living your life and whatever is going on within it, it will suspend all of the other rape bullshit. It will come back again, but living your life might take focusing on life distractions.

It will always be there, but for a moment you won't be thinking of it... and that might be helpful...

I've tried....
It helps for a moment but whenever I don't have something to do or even sometimes if I do it always comes back.........

I totally know where you're coming from. At age 12 I was raped and molested by my uncle. I didn't want anyone to find out, and there was no way I was going to report it because then my family would find out. I hid it for more than 5 years. I was suicidal, I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to move on and continue my life. Life was hard enough with school and everything else. Now I'm almost 18 and I have decided to tell my family. Fortunately I have a very supportive family, and I'm so sorry your family isn't supportive. But no one should have to do it all alone. I tried that for 5 years and it did me no good. I'm here to talk if you ever need to. I'm still battling through this and I could use a friend too. I'm here if you ever need me!