i figured i would forget about the "rape" as the days pass. days turn into weeks, turn into months and then its almost a year. it seem like im remebering more instead of foregeting about the rape. i close my eyes and he is there thelling me just to hold on, i can still see his face.I bet he dosent even have seconds thought about when i screamed no and cried cause he kept on, bet he dosent have bad dreams either. it makes me so angry who does he think he is? im so mad and trully hurt. actually that dosent even somewhat begin to expalin how i feel. i wish i could it back but i cant i have to go on with my life. and tell my self it wsnt my fault and somehow belive that. i knda beat myself up for the fact its alonst been ayear and im still not over it its hard im not sure why cant i go back to the person before this but im not sure. it changes your views and the way you see things at least it does for me. the little happy end where is that ? guys freak me out i have been the one to go on dates reallynow guys are like wanting to go out with me it creeps me out a bit, id rather tell em to get lost idk maybe its just me. it feels like they can tell by looking at me what happened i know that sounds dumb.i would rather go in public in layers then be glanced at.