So sorry you are experiencing this. I am not sure what mucosal prolapse syndrome is, but I would most certainly want damage done to my body as a result of rape fixed. Is there a possibility of operating when you get older? Seems a second opinion from another doctor is in order...

I am sorry you are missing your friend, and I hope you begin to feel better.

Sweetie You have every right to vent. I may not know you but I do know this for certain You Are Beautiful and You Are Precious. You may feel dirty and wrong but one thing you have gotta remember someone out there thinks that your the world to them and loves you. The pain and hurt that you feel will go away in time but allow yourself time to heal. And keep the hope that you need to fix yourself and slowly rebuild. Im here to talk if you want. kk

Thank you, both of you. That was so lovely and helpful :') You are truly wonderful people.

As for the surgery it's all a bit unknown at the moment, but I'm thinking of going back when I'm older and seeing what he says. He's a great surgeon, he's done all of my previous operations. I trust him, and he knows my story.

You have both been exceptionally kind and I can't thank you enough for your helpful and kind words. It means the world to me.

Thank you both. xxxxxxxxx

I hope you both are doing well.

I am so sorry that happened to you and that you have a physical reminder of anal rape. You are not dirty and wrong - the person or persons who did this to you are dirty and wrong. Please, please remember that, give yourself time to heal, and treat yourself very kindly, inside and out, while you are feeling broken. I remember what it is like to feel dirty on the inside and the outside after I was raped. I felt shattered, and wrote at the time like I was looking at the shards of my life scattered around me. With time and help from myself and lots of support, that feeling went away. You will feel better, too. It's hard - it's a kind of grief. You have to hang in there during the part when it's so painful, and little by little, with support and time, it gets easier.
It sounds like the prolapse is making it harder to heal mentally from the rape. You sound so alone right now that I am sad and worried for you. Are there any sexual assault services in your area? Do you have a support system? There are always the hot lines that you can use, and of course, the support right here.
I looked up mucosal prolapse syndrome on the internet, and there is a lot of info out there. I used the "in private" feature in internet explorer because I didn't want to start getting unwanted email ads from anal-oriented websites, which will happen if you look up anything to do with rectal medical conditions. Like hollymc7, I think a second opinion from a specialist, a really good one, might be very helpful. Maybe the doctor you saw had only treated older patients. Apparently this syndrome, in addition to happening from trauma, also happens to quite a few older women, in particular. The doctor should also let you know what to do to take care of yourself best when you have this. I also saw some websites that talked about exercises to do to strengthen the muscles in that area to help hold things in place, advice on diet so you don't strain, and other helpful info. It is so unfair that you have to deal with this, but since you do, it might feel empowering to get all the info you can about how to take care of yourself.
Please don't worry about all the things you want to do with your life right this minute. You are young. You have suffered a major trauma, and healing your body, mind and soul has to come first. The rest of the things you want to accomplish will come after you heal.
My heart goes out to you, TsukikoSCG.

You are NOT disgusting or dirty or any of the other negative things you think of yourself. I know it is easy to feel that way after what you/we have been through, so I'll tell you that as long as there is at least one person on this earth who's ever loved you, been comforted by you, or laughed with you (and I'm sure there are more than you think), then that makes you precious, special, and a shining beacon of light in an otherwise dark world. Don't let another person's horrible act make you feel dirty.

God bless you TsukikoSCG. Stay strong and don't let that piece of crap that hurt you in the past, take away all of the beautiful things waiting for you in the future.

Hey I am sorry that you are experiencing this.:( if you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you.

You have all been so kind :') It means so much to me to have all of this support. I keep meaning to get extra help from a service again but I keep putting it off... You guys give me the strength to try that little bit harder and I will look into all of this that you have advised, and try and remember your kind words when I'm feeling down.

Thank you all xxxxxxx
My heart goes out to each and every one of you.