i think your issue is that being bullied is a sensitive subject for you. n i can understand your words of saying "you shouldn't do foreplay if you aren't sure you want to go further". i get that now.

because whenever a girl comes to me describing a guy who sounds anything like my ex (be it the way he words things, the way he stands, his personality, the hobbies he's into, etc), my mind switches over to when i was with my ex n i full on try to discourage the girl from pursuing a relationship with that particular guy. i admit that i've toned it down a lot...but i found that it was my way of preventing another person from going through what i had to.

so maybe, by you being in this community n saying things like that, it's just because you feel you're just trying to prevent another person from being "bullied" the way you had been?

but i just need to say that that method doesn't work too well. because people in this group will take it the wrong way. we take it personally. do you suffer from ptsd? just wondering. i know i've got it.

i'm not upset by your comments any more as i think i've figured out the "why"...

I was prolly 10 when I first started drinking, by 18 I had done just about ever drug known to man. (Pretty much running from my problems) I've been sober for 5 years now and although it sucks and not easy to admit, I ne ver delt with back then if I would've I could've had a much better life. I'm not saying rape is a victums fault but sometimes there we make descissions that put us in harms way. I've read a lot of comments on hear about womans accounts and all I can say is even tho it won't be easy but PRESS CHARGES !! Ssek justice (not vengance). That is why people do things like that cause they know they won't get cought.

I completely agree. My rapist says I pushed him into doing it. I didn't ask or enjoyed what happened. Nobody asks for their life to be completely changed for the worse.

Maybe your posting things in the WRONG group Rocky. There is a child abuse support group on this site. Just because a girl even goes "almost" all the way doesn't matter one bit. She has the right to say no during.....before when ever!! A lot of people on here are trying to heal and I don't want to be mean but maybe your not helping. Check out the other support groups they could help you with your traumatizing past with being bullied.

I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the idea of "it techinally was rape". Really? REALLY????? There is no continuum of rape. The 'real' ones, the 'sort of' ones, and the 'well just barely' rapes. That's completely ignorant and insensitive. You clearly do not understand that rape is not about sex and consent. Rape is a criminal and immoral act. It is a physical and emotional assault reguardless of any circumstance leading up to the assault. Saying she went part way and then said no makes it clear that she believed that she was in a situation where her "no" would be respected. She did not enter into the situation thinking, 'well I'll go part way and say no and see if he rapes me or not'. No one says 'I'll have a few too many drinks and pass out and see if anybody will rape me while unconsious." These people believe themselves to be in a realtively safe and predictable situation. Frankly, there is nothing I can do to "get" someone to rape me.

While well-intentioned, suggesting that more women should report and prosecute, you've missed the boat there as well. The re-traumatization of what you suggest is very real and very prevalent. I made a good decision not to report and it was my decision to make, not yours. You make it sound like it's our duty to report it to be a deterent and protect others. Well, I really just needed to protect me at the time, not the community at large. If you want to help, educate yourself before you post wrecklessly.

Some people are clueless.

After I was attacked, the guy I was with at the time was very supportive at first. But then he started telling me I must have wanted it because I didn't have a good description. End of relationship.