Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I lie over and over and over again. When my friends who I have been best friends with since elementary ask me about how I keep getting bruises or cuts, I quick come up with something to say. Just a few days ago, my sweatshirt slipped down a little too much and my friend saw the cuts. She asked if I cut myself and out of shame and guilt, I said yes.
There's a detective who was investigating my case but had dropped it because I asked her to a while back Now she is a very close friend and we talk often. All she wants for me is to leave the situation I am in and stay with her. I trust her so much and would love to stay with her but problem is, I cant. I feel so stuck. Everytime after he has raped me, I just quickly cover it up and dont even face it and by the time I'm ready to deal with everything, he comes around again and then its the same old situation. I feel like it doesnt matter anymore. I'm afraid if its not me, then its someone else and thats something I could never live with. I would press charges in an instant if I were certain I'd win. No one knows who is abusing me. I have refused to give a name. I do not want to be the one to introduce such an awful person to people who I know and love. He is not a good person to know and my biggest fear is him being in their life too.
After the first time I was raped, I was scared, shocked, upset. After the second, I was angry. I had such hatred; I didnt know who I hated more, him or I. After the third I completely shut down. I went so numb. Now after so many times I feel like there's nothing to me. Im tired of trying to pick myself up again, I dont want to be strong anymore.
If I leave, will I be replaced? Is there already another victim( I really hope not)? Am I selfish for not giving his name?
There's a detective who was investigating my case but had dropped it because I asked her to a while back Now she is a very close friend and we talk often. All she wants for me is to leave the situation I am in and stay with her. I trust her so much and would love to stay with her but problem is, I cant. I feel so stuck. Everytime after he has raped me, I just quickly cover it up and dont even face it and by the time I'm ready to deal with everything, he comes around again and then its the same old situation. I feel like it doesnt matter anymore. I'm afraid if its not me, then its someone else and thats something I could never live with. I would press charges in an instant if I were certain I'd win. No one knows who is abusing me. I have refused to give a name. I do not want to be the one to introduce such an awful person to people who I know and love. He is not a good person to know and my biggest fear is him being in their life too.
After the first time I was raped, I was scared, shocked, upset. After the second, I was angry. I had such hatred; I didnt know who I hated more, him or I. After the third I completely shut down. I went so numb. Now after so many times I feel like there's nothing to me. Im tired of trying to pick myself up again, I dont want to be strong anymore.
If I leave, will I be replaced? Is there already another victim( I really hope not)? Am I selfish for not giving his name?
deleted_user
i am so sorry that this keeps happening to you....you really need to talk to someone about it.....i know it's scary to give out his name.....PLEASE DON'T HURT YOURSELF.......i'm a recovering cutter as well, and i know how hard it can be......maybe you could tell the detective that you're really close with.....move in with her tell her that you're scared about what he would do to other people in your life and turn him in.....i know it;s hard, but you can be strong.....you are NOT selfish for not turning him in...it sounds like you're scared and that's completely normal...i hope this helps and i really hope you get help for your self-injuring and help for this.....please know that you can contact me at any time for anything!!!
EmeliaK
Thank you Valgal for your reply, it did help. The cuts weren't caused by me but by my attacker. I only told my friend I did them because I didnt think she would understand if I told her the truth.
deleted_user
i understand......i would have done the same thing
deleted_user
You are not responsible for what he might do to anybody else. Your responsibility is to yourself. What makes you think you are the only one? You do what you have to do. That situation is extremely damaging to you. Move, double lock the door, get a stun gun, say no clearly and then use the stun gun it if he continues. Nobody can save you but you. Life is short. Don't spend it being a victim. The worst thing that can happen is that he murders you. Yet he is already killing you psychologically and he a coward. You will be surprised.
deleted_user
How does he control you? How does he continue to get to you? Block the access points. Speak up officially. Get a restraining order. Were you underaged when it happened first? You will not "win" a legal case but you will "win" your freedom. Hugs!
faithtofly
i was under age when it happened by the guy who abused me sexually, and i pressed charfes when i was 19 im 21 now and still waiting on the court date to happen , the disrtrict attorney who is working on my case says hes going down a solid case even tho the only physical evidence is pictures of a photo shoot i had that werent even nude pics but sexy in a way so u will most likely win, but the first step is the step to end the silence go make a statment with the police we can be put behind bars until it goes to trial.BE SAFE, THIS IS NOT UR FAULT.
Join the Conversation