Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

1,912 Members
8,997 Posts
0 Online
Traumas & Injuries
/ Rape Support Group

feeling dirty

SophiasMom2010
SophiasMom2010
I was date raped by multiple boys, (I think,I don't remember because I was drugged), at 16, I am now 20 but at times I still feel dirty. Sometimes people make jokes about me being slutty as a teenager and they don't realize that sexual promiscuity is a symptom of rape, because after being raped you kind of lose your sense of self and especially lose the sense of value that is attached to us sexually, after I was raped I didn't really care who I slept with or what I was doing, I became an alcoholic and I felt like my choices had already been taken from me so it wasn't really a huge deal to lay down and let more men violate me, it kind of felt like I was justifying my rape, like, "I must be a slut to be raped like that, so why not just act like one?" Now that I'm older I want to scream "SHUT UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FELT TO BECOME A PIECE OF MEAT LIKE THAT!!" but I can't claim rape for every sexually promiscuous act I made so it makes me feel more and more isolated and dirty, I am starting to feel nasty like I must have asked for it, again.

I just wanted to know if anyone else went through this? And how can I confront people who bring this up in a way that they can understand?
valgal18
valgal18
i went through something very similar....i had an affair with a guy who was older than me for about 18 months-2 years.....i threw myself at guys and just let them do whatever with me....the reason i did it though, was because i didn't feel respected or emotionally connected to my rapist so i was a slut during that time to feel a connection.......it took me a long time and a lot of therapy to actually WANT to get out of these kind of relationships......i have succeeded and whenever people bring it up i just kind of tell myself that i'm not and iasn't....positive self talk has helped me when former freidns say,"i can't beleive you were such a slut...have you really changed???" i just tell them and/or myself that i made some poor choices but i went through a hard time and that i did what felt right at that time, but now i know better.......hope that made sense and hope that it helped!!!!! if you ever need ot talk, i'm here for you!!!!!
mayday101
mayday101
yeah I made some similar bad choices, I would pick out the ansiest guys i could find to sleep with, I think I wanted them to hurt me in a way i couldn't hurt myself, every now then i can slip back into it when i'm under pressure and hate myself for it

As for other people they don't tend to bring in up and if they do i would just change the subject or have a go at them if i needed too :-) think its ok to let people know you don't think its funny
deleted_user
deleted_user
I made similar choices also. I felt as though I had already had my innocence taken so why not give any guy who wanted to sleep with me what he wanted. I too believe that I was raped and don't remember what happened. I think simply realizing what you are doing is the first step to healing. I now know that all I have to do is say no to a guy when he asks. It feels good to say no. As for the people who call you a slut and say bad things about you, they are not true friends if that is how they are speaking to you. They don't understand the situation and they have no right to say that to you. Hope this helps! I am here if you ever want to talk to someone!