Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
Okay so I have mentioned that my husband raped me when I was drunk off my ass on my 21st birthday. And how there are unexplained bruises on my wrists and thighs in the shape of hand prints. And how since he has been deployed there have been no bruises.
Well I blame myself but more on the fact that I was stupid enough to get drunk and other reasons.
Last night I was talking to him via Skype and asked would he be mad at me if I told someone about him raping me. Since he doesn't know that I already have.
This is his reply:
'Well I don't know. I don't see how it is entirely my fault about what I did when you were 21. For one what happens if the person you tell gets mad at me? I could lose my job, I could spend 10 years in prison because you told someone.'
I'm sorry all I can see is him blaming me. Like I'm the one who made him do it. What the hell. He can't even own up and say yes I am the one who raped you I am the one at fault.
What should I do?!?!?!?!?!?!
I wanted to hang up on him but pissing him off isn't a good idea. I don't know what the hell I need to do. Any ideas? On what I should do or what he said?
Well I blame myself but more on the fact that I was stupid enough to get drunk and other reasons.
Last night I was talking to him via Skype and asked would he be mad at me if I told someone about him raping me. Since he doesn't know that I already have.
This is his reply:
'Well I don't know. I don't see how it is entirely my fault about what I did when you were 21. For one what happens if the person you tell gets mad at me? I could lose my job, I could spend 10 years in prison because you told someone.'
I'm sorry all I can see is him blaming me. Like I'm the one who made him do it. What the hell. He can't even own up and say yes I am the one who raped you I am the one at fault.
What should I do?!?!?!?!?!?!
I wanted to hang up on him but pissing him off isn't a good idea. I don't know what the hell I need to do. Any ideas? On what I should do or what he said?
To me it sounds like he doesn't even think he has done wrong. like his behaviour should be excused. like he has no concern for anything you have had to go through. what a completely selfish response.
May I ask if you are still together? I stayed with my attacker after it happened to me.
I know it's very easy for me to tell you this but I think it's important that you get out of your marriage. It is very important for your healing that you remove yourself from the situation.
If you do decide to stay then you should insist that he come to counseling with you.
However I will say again - you should get out of this situation. I can identify with your statement about "not wanting to piss him off" which means you're adjusting your emotions and actions to keep him from getting angry or upset - which is not a good situation to be in at all!
I hope some of this has helped you! You'll be in my prayers.