Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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newdisaster12 07/06/2013

I started dating someone recently and I have some concerns.

First of all, is it a good idea to tell him that I was raped? If so, how would I even have that conversation?

I would like to be able to have sex and enjoy it, but I don't know that I will ever be able to. I just don't want to be touched and it scares me. Has anyone had success in overcoming this?

Sometimes I wonder if trying to date is really even worth it because I don't know if I will ever get over being raped. Is this normal?

deleted_user 07/06/2013

hey girly if u msg me I can explain some things I really don't want to share in public but I think I can help so txt me or msg me :)

Razor91 07/07/2013

I'd get to know the person first, see how you both get on and if you trust them because it is quite a personal thing you would be sharing with them.
I have the same fears about being sexual, cause my mind will constantly flicker the image of what happened to me in my head. I do think though that I am pretty much over whats happened, somehow, it's in the past and that's where it belongs.
It's a tough situation, once my case was over I felt like me again, before I was afraid to go anywhere on my own, I think thats what helped with me overcoming what happened.
I also have this fear I'll relieve the pain too of that moment where I said no and he continued.

deleted_user 07/10/2013

I can tell u that for me it has been possible to go forward and have a marriage and children and enjoy sex. I told my husband fairly early on, and have never regretted doing so. He was at a loss at first, but made sure I understood that he was at a loss of what to do to help.

It was not a road without bumps, but from that day to this he has been supportive

T

Heptet 07/11/2013

I am upfront about being a rape and sexual abuse survivor. With my partner I told him within the first week that I wouldnt be having sex with him until i felt ready and that I had to consent to having sex outside of doing other sexual things because asking me when I am already aroused wasn't really fair. When I was being abused my abuser would just arouse me to make me compliant and I wanted to have a level head to decide when I was ready for sex.

For me, its always been important to share because I want to know if the person I am with is mature enough to handle it rather than falling in love and then being dumped or retraumatised by someone unable to cope with it

Heptet 07/11/2013

Its normal to feel scared that you'll never heal but I wanted you to know that everyone is capable healing and everyone is capable of creating the healthy sex life they want - whether that is no, sex, some sex or lots of it.

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