Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I posted this within another thread, but I wanted to give it it's own place. I hope this might help survivors find directions and goals and "roadsigns" through their therapy by seeing this, from the therapist's point of view.
Things that make ME proud (of you) when I am working with a survivor:
*The moment a survivor begins to argue back against a critic in her life, and demand respect;
*The moment a survivor ditches a bad boyfriend because she will no longer tolerate power and control disguised as love;
*The moment a survivor tells me she listens to Ani Difranco and Tori Amos for strength, rather than ICP and Eminem;
*The moment a survivor reads her trauma story and finally weeps for her loss;
*The moment a survivor realizes that this issue is bigger than her, and that part of her recovery is to take on activism to change things for future survivors;
*The moment a survivor, who had refused to ever be touched by anyone, gives me a hug goodbye when she's done with me;
*The moment a survivor realizes I've been helpful, but she's outgrown the need of me;
*The moment a survivor stops asking me (or anyone else) to tell her how she feels and why, and begins to identify her OWN feelings and reasons;
*The moment a survivor has the courage to state her disagreement with me, her father, her sister, her mom, ANYONE she has been told all her life she has to submit to;
*The moment a survivor realizes that cutting herself is not a form of fighting back, but journaling and telling her story IS;
*The moment a survivor realizes that abuse and love are very different (and so are rape and sex);
*The moment a survivor pulls up next to me on the road and makes the "Rock On!" hand gesture and yells at me, "Matt, you f***in' ROCK! I ditched that a****e because of you!" (when really, she ditched that A-hole because of HERSELF becoming strong);
*The moment a survivor stops giving me all the credit for her recovery--as complimentary as that is--and finally says with pride, "you know what? *I* did this! I worked damned hard, and I made it!"
Sigh. And to think, people actually ask me, "How can you do that kind of therapy? doesn't it depress you?"
Sigh. "
Things that make ME proud (of you) when I am working with a survivor:
*The moment a survivor begins to argue back against a critic in her life, and demand respect;
*The moment a survivor ditches a bad boyfriend because she will no longer tolerate power and control disguised as love;
*The moment a survivor tells me she listens to Ani Difranco and Tori Amos for strength, rather than ICP and Eminem;
*The moment a survivor reads her trauma story and finally weeps for her loss;
*The moment a survivor realizes that this issue is bigger than her, and that part of her recovery is to take on activism to change things for future survivors;
*The moment a survivor, who had refused to ever be touched by anyone, gives me a hug goodbye when she's done with me;
*The moment a survivor realizes I've been helpful, but she's outgrown the need of me;
*The moment a survivor stops asking me (or anyone else) to tell her how she feels and why, and begins to identify her OWN feelings and reasons;
*The moment a survivor has the courage to state her disagreement with me, her father, her sister, her mom, ANYONE she has been told all her life she has to submit to;
*The moment a survivor realizes that cutting herself is not a form of fighting back, but journaling and telling her story IS;
*The moment a survivor realizes that abuse and love are very different (and so are rape and sex);
*The moment a survivor pulls up next to me on the road and makes the "Rock On!" hand gesture and yells at me, "Matt, you f***in' ROCK! I ditched that a****e because of you!" (when really, she ditched that A-hole because of HERSELF becoming strong);
*The moment a survivor stops giving me all the credit for her recovery--as complimentary as that is--and finally says with pride, "you know what? *I* did this! I worked damned hard, and I made it!"
Sigh. And to think, people actually ask me, "How can you do that kind of therapy? doesn't it depress you?"
Sigh. "
Take care of yourself,
Izzy
it's really touching to me that you care so much about what you do, and makes me want, even more, to sincerely work towards healing.
Thats statement just makes me sad. A hug goodbye does not mean that your patient is "done with you." It makes it sound like you were used, and i would have to disagree and say that you wernt. You were looked up to as a guide who is there to help, a fellow survivor farther along on their journey, a gift. You helped me more than i can even put into words, which is odd, because words are my thing... I feel awkward tonight, like i am supposed to be bigger and taller when i look in the mirror to match the growth that i did in group, but i just look like i used to. I guess whats different is the smile in the mirror, thats new. Thats thanks to you. I could have had any therapist help me with recovery, but i can guarantee you they wouldnt all leave me with an urge to just keep smiling. I know i did the all the work myself, but i wouldnt have done it without the little push. Thanks!
By "done with me," I don't mean "done using me like a tool" but rather, "no longer needing me to help work out your pain." Your pain IS done. I've changed from a guide and healer, to a friend. And hopefully a colleague, at some point. You don't need me for trauma and recovery anymore.
But I hope we will remain somehow in contact after this, because it would be too sad to see you depart onward to the world, and not somehow be able to see and swell with pride at the work you will now do.
You think your *work* is done now? No, now it's just starting.
:)
The hug today meant a lot. In a clean, true, real way that a hug is supposed to. I'm glad you left then, because you would have seen me fight back tears minutes later!
And I'm posting this here instead of in a message, because this forum needs to know what an amazing resource it has in you being among us here!
hmmm, so they all stem from the rapes.....hmmm, interesting, speechless.....