Pulmonary Embolism Support Group
By far the most common form of pulmonary embolism is a thromboembolism, which occurs when a blood clot, generally a venous thrombus, becomes dislodged from its site of formation and embolizes to the arterial blood supply of one of the lungs. Symptoms may include difficulty breathing, pain during breathing, and more rarely circulatory instability and death.
Another rambling of mine. :o) Just something I have been giving a lot of thought to lately and have gradually been learning. Now hopefully, my thoughts will stream together and this will make sense! lol
Simply put, I have learned that you know what? It is ok to be pissed off about all of this sometimes! Yesterday was my 10 month anniversary of having massive PE's. Well, a few months ago my mother looked at me with such sadness and said, "why did this have to happen to you?" I said, "I am starting to wonder the same thing". Her answer..."NOW? You're just wondering that now????" LOL It made me realize something and that was that I had not yet gotten angry!
When it first happened, like most, I was scared, terrified in fact, and right along with that, just so grateful to be alive! I accepted what had happened,and was ready to embrace life in a whole new way. Live and enjoy every moment. Well, that is all well and fine, great outlook in fact, but, I forgot to get mad! I was determined I was not going to live a "why me" existance. I never have. But it occured to me one day that I was not allowing myself to fully process everything. I am not saying I wanted to wallow in self-pity, not by any stretch, but I did have the right to say what the *bleep*!
I think ( for me personally and what I have experienced with my family and friends) the general mentality is, wow, we are the lucky ones. That you cannot dwell on the would have, could have, should have's. We made it! That it happend, you lived, accept and go from there. All very very true!!! But, no one ever tells you that some days, you can be "selfish". You can say why me all day long. You can cry and yell and swear if you want. Because all of that is fine too! And what I have found, it is a necessary part of the process. To accept something, you have to accept it as a whole and all that goes along with it. I would not allow myself those feelings for a very long time because i thought, how horrible of me to even have such thoughts when so many people were not as lucky!
I apologize if this came across as a therapy session. :o) I just figured maybe I am not the only who has had these thoughts.
Wishing you all a very happy and healthy new year!
Simply put, I have learned that you know what? It is ok to be pissed off about all of this sometimes! Yesterday was my 10 month anniversary of having massive PE's. Well, a few months ago my mother looked at me with such sadness and said, "why did this have to happen to you?" I said, "I am starting to wonder the same thing". Her answer..."NOW? You're just wondering that now????" LOL It made me realize something and that was that I had not yet gotten angry!
When it first happened, like most, I was scared, terrified in fact, and right along with that, just so grateful to be alive! I accepted what had happened,and was ready to embrace life in a whole new way. Live and enjoy every moment. Well, that is all well and fine, great outlook in fact, but, I forgot to get mad! I was determined I was not going to live a "why me" existance. I never have. But it occured to me one day that I was not allowing myself to fully process everything. I am not saying I wanted to wallow in self-pity, not by any stretch, but I did have the right to say what the *bleep*!
I think ( for me personally and what I have experienced with my family and friends) the general mentality is, wow, we are the lucky ones. That you cannot dwell on the would have, could have, should have's. We made it! That it happend, you lived, accept and go from there. All very very true!!! But, no one ever tells you that some days, you can be "selfish". You can say why me all day long. You can cry and yell and swear if you want. Because all of that is fine too! And what I have found, it is a necessary part of the process. To accept something, you have to accept it as a whole and all that goes along with it. I would not allow myself those feelings for a very long time because i thought, how horrible of me to even have such thoughts when so many people were not as lucky!
I apologize if this came across as a therapy session. :o) I just figured maybe I am not the only who has had these thoughts.
Wishing you all a very happy and healthy new year!
I don't know if I was ever mad AT him. I was frustrated because I knew something was going on and he was wrong about my asthma. Once I was diagnosed, I was sitting in the ER and my primary called me to be sure I was OK. I told her I really wanted someone to call the PA and tell him what he had missed. She said she would have her PA do it, but she worried that I was going to sue him. I thought that was ridiculous and told her so. I didn't want to punish him, I just wanted him to not miss this in another person. I wanted him to learn from my experience.
I'm thinking back and I don't remember ever being actively angry during diagnosis. I do remember lots of other negative emotions though ... frustration, anxiety, fear ... and it is important to remember that we're allowed to feel all those emotions and that we shouldn't punish ourselves for doing so.