You are not alone...your family may be dealing with this in their own way, which is pretty insensitive to you, but maybe that is the way they deal with it, My partner is the same, and during a heated argument about it he said "maybe I don't know how to make you feel better" and that is the most emotion I have gotten out of him in these last 10 mths..
I think that it affects our families just as much as us, they all have different ways of dealing with the fear..your 5 yr old is maybe a little too young too fully understand, and I guess that is really a blessing, hard as it is on you, its a blessing that they have been spared the full knowledge of how serious this is..
This is my advice to you and I have 4 sometimes very selfish kids... put yourself first, be a little selfish, hell be a lot selfish, but put yourself first, if they won't give you the emontional support you need then look to yourself and the good people who are around you for it, you are lucky to have caring people coming in and helping, so talk to them and share your feelings, sometimes just getting it of your chest is such a relief!
The house and your family will not fall apart if you take out some time for yourself, they might be acting like they don't care but they do..at their ages though, they are all about themselves, it doesnt mean they don't love you or care it just means that at present the sun revolves around them in their eyes!
I hope that you start to feel better soon and remember you are not alone ever!
Take care of yourself :)

I know exactly what you're going through..I have 2 daughters, 19 & 29. I was hospitalized with double PE's and got a large clot while on the coumadin after I was released from the hospital. My daughters came to see me once in the hospital and not at all after I was released. My mother came to take care of me. I got upset when my daughter dropped off my mother who doesn't drive and didn't even come in to give me a hug. My boyfriend went out to the car and asked her to come in and at least visit with me, it would mean a lot to me. I got emotional when she came in, I was extremely emotional then. My other daughter who was waiting for her to pick her up so they could go jogging said "mom is crying poor pitiful me again." Later she (the 19y/o) accused me of faking it...I ask you, how do you fake PE's? I learned the hard way too. I'm with Richeal, put yourself first. We've got to focus on ourselves now. We all know, this is no joke. We are blessed to be here whether our kids know it or not. They will realize it one day. Right now we can't worry about the ones that are grown. We've got to concentrate on getting well.Surround yourself with positive people, and do what I do, I take myself out of the negative situations. I focus on getting well, and do what I need to for me..I try to, anyway. It's not always easy, Hang in there, they'll come around..in the meantime, you are not alone...

I have 3 sons aged 20, 19 and 16 and I know what you mean, I am sick of hearing can you drive me here, what's for dinner etc etc. They know I almost died but it doesn't emotionally have much impact on my older two sons because they have Asperger's Syndrome so tend towards emotional disconnection anyway. I just returned to work 2 weeks ago, I am now 2 mths post PE and I am not coping as well as I had hoped, the fatigue makes it hard to keep up with the hectic schedule necessary to be a mum, uni student and employee. So if you figure out any miracle answers let me know:)

I am moving halfway around the world to Denver, Colorado in November and leaving the 19 and 20yr olds here in Australia. That should make them realise how much I do for them and how much they need me;)

Thank you so much for the encouragement I am going to surround myself with positive people and tune out the negative.

I don't have any children, but this sounds just like my parents. I really can't complain since they are letting me stay with them while I recover. I have developed severe anxiety and can't drive. My mom told me (3 weeks post-op) the day I was diagnosed with my PEs that I just need to "calm down" and learn some deep breathing techniques. I know I would have to be literally unconscious for them to take me to the ER if I needed to go. To them everything is my anxiety, which I need to "suck up and get over". I've felt really awful this last week and am not sure if it's a flu, cold, or just anxiety symptoms but I get so scared that if something really is wrong I won't be taken seriously. I definately feel your pain! Hugs!

@aussie
I wouldn't suggest moving halfway around the world as a solution, but hey! It'll work! LOL

You'll be having a year long 'winter', won't you? Leaving AU just when your winter is ending and then moving to Denver when another winter is starting.
Brrrr!

I feel I must be very lucky. My hubby dropped whatever he was doing christmas eve and drove me to ER. Then my daughter took 4 days off work to stay with me at the hospital. My hubby came every day. We have doggies at home, he had to care for. I am blessed, one of my neighbors brought him dinner every night.

I had no pain when I came home, just very, very tired so I did my usual stuff but much slower and with lots of naps.

Just try to take care of yourself. Good luck

I had PE's in my lungs and one DVT in my left leg.

I also have been blessed with 4 children & a husband that understands and supports me. For my 23 year old son especially, it was very scary . He had a teacher in 4th grade that collapsed in class and died that afternoon at the hospital. From PEs. He was very aware of the seriousness of it all and has been so much more appreciative of having a mother. Even still, it's hard for them to grasp how hard recovery is & exactly all that we're dealing with, but they have been patient with me. Try to keep your chin up, surround yourself with positive support where it can be found and take care of yourself first! After all you've put into taking care of that many children over the years, you deserve it!!

Children, by definition, are insensitive. You just notice it more after such a traumatic event. Also, I think the insensity of family members is often misplaced emotions about almost losing a parent or a spouse. People often, for whatever reason, direct their feelings inward and it manifests itself in bizarre ways, like acting like an ass, or spoiled or indifferent.

Take control. It's about you right now, and pleading with your kids or spouse to try to understand is like hitting your head on a brick wall over and over again. You just gotta lay the law down how it's going to be right now. They'll get over it.

I think too we need to have honest discussions with our spouses, and articulate EXACTLY what we need. Because they can't know. I mean, they don't get the fatigue and recovery, because if they released you from the hospital, well then you must be a 100% back to normal right? That was my husband thought, until I set him straight. But I truly had to spell out what I needed, in a calm and rational matter. Otherwise, I'm sure he just thought I was whining. The whole family has to cut each other a bit of slack, because they're confused by these events as well.

Yeah, it'd be helpful if we could somehow bandage lungs ... would be so much easier if someone could just look at you and see right away that you've got something going on.

Until I was out of School and on my own Mom = Super Mom, but then I realized she was just a normal person. And 7 years ago when my Dad passed, I was the one taking care of her. So one day they will realize there faults.

I can relate. I have two children and elderly parents. My son has been wonderful and comes up when I need him (he's 23). My daughter at 28 could care less. And doesn't seem to understand. Neither do my parents. Every time I bring something up, my mom start on her own conditions. Had a shoulder replace...great heart, lungs and kidneys and a blood clot in her leg many years ago. In fact, I moved away from my parents and kids because they were so uncaring. And it was time for me to take care of myself. My 1st husband was just as bad. I had 7 knee surgeries and he expected me to hobble around the kitchen right after surgery. My 2nd husband was much more caring..but he's gone now too in an addictive fog and he doesn't really seem to care anymore. Since we can't put a bandage on our lungs, I do tell those people at work who I think need to know I'm not 100%. And in fact, have had a small setback.

I have experienced some of this too. My daughters were very concerned. My oldest son, at 29, just didn't get it either. I thought then and still think he couldn't handle the thought of how critical it was. We've had talks about his insensitivity. He just hates all the emotional energy I've put into the situation - of course, he is very healthy and fit and just has no perspective to understand it. My inlaw family weren't the most sensitive people on the block either. But we have to go on. As others have said, take care of YOURSELF first. Let other things go. Now that I am 9 months out and feeling so much better, taking care of yourself is absolutely the right thing to do. Even with a helpful husband, the house is just now getting back to standard.