Hello everyone!!!

Well its been a very very very long time since I've been here on daily strength!

I'm sure some of you will remember me, and some of you I havn't met yet. I have purposely stayed away from DS for a while just to separate my life from PE and start over, but I do remember everyone I met here and what a wonderful support system this website is. I went through the worst times of my life right here on this site! I remember loving when people would check in and tell everyone how they were doing farther out than me in my recovery b/c it gave me so much hope where there was so little!

So its a few months from my 2 yr mark after PE, and though I dont really like to talk about my PE very much, i want to tell you all the things will get much better!!!

If you'd like to read my story its pretty much plastered on my profile forever 8).

But yes so lets get on to the good news people: I stopped my coumadin over a year ago ( funny enough my little pink round security blacket was actually hard to let go of as much as i despised the stuff) In fact, i have the remainder of my last RX hiding in my keepsake box somewhere, at first I was certain that I would clot again and end up needing it ( there goes that positive thinking again ) but then I realized it was just a part of me and something i cant forget so i stuck it in my keepsake box along with prom pictures haha.

I had a few anxiety attacks after stopping the coumadin, a lot of what if thinking, apparently thats normal...but it was hard to get through my last trip to the ER was in november, my last panic attack, the ER dr. new me very well by then lol.

My chest pains have thankfully all but disapeared thank god, i would get aches here and there even after my clean ct scan and my final evaluation from my pulmonologist who remarked that I had no damage from my clot...

I wake up now, and my first though is not "I wonder if I will get a clot today" like it used to be... I am happy again, I do get sad once and a while remembering the event, but thats to be expected. I started school in august, and joined weight watchers, and a a gym to get off the weight i gained from coumadin and depression, ive lost 40 lbs.....and im very happy i still have 25 more to go to be at my goal weight but im happily on my way.

I know this is so much rambling I just dont know where to start I just want you guys to know it WILL be ok!!!!

I celebrated my 23rd birthday March 6 and it was great, things are not perfect but let me tell you they are 1000000 times better than they were.

And people... you will evolve into a better person from this event, I have changed so much about myself!!! I am such a different person now that I've been through what Ive been through!!!

Please feel free to e-mail me with ANY questions you might have about my experiances with PE stuff I want to help anyone I can just like others have done for me!!!

cupcakedecay@aol.com

love you all

Ashley