I can so relate...I have been there many times...it helps (for me anyway) to get a good cry out, then to muster up all the energy I have to have positive thoughts, pray, and smile at myself. I am not sure why but this has really seemed to have worked for me. U r in my thoughts and prayers, Nicole

Debi.its alright, dont panic. we all hit this bad zone , sometimes a few times.
Its a terrible place to vist, never mind taking a holiday there. Time to check out, now.

I agree with healthy living,a good cry, from the bottom of your heart, is very cleansing.Allow it to wash away some of your pain.

I wish I could really reassure you, that it does get better.Hell, I have had all the meds , a failed shunt and life is still good , for me.
It did however take a lot to get to this place.

I think , perhaps, you have taken on too much and not only are you worn from the illness but from life in general.
Its time to take a step back. Relinquish the rains of the house hold and get some help. But you need to ask.
I dont know why, but men are wired differently to us. If we keep going, they assume all is ok.You have to spell it out for them!

Sit down with your husband and the kids that are old enough to understand, and talk to them. Let them really know what is going on. I bet they will all be on board in an instant, altho do know, you will have to remind them, all the time!

Next, step back and see how you can improve your day. House work, I have found, is really not top of the list.( Hard for me as I am a tidy freak!)
IIf I am having a bad day, I get my son to sit on the couch with me, watch video, while I doze. I have also upped the ante with him and helping out around the house.This started two years ago when he was 8yrs. Its a good life lesson for them as well.

Take a day or evening off once and a while, just for you.You need to touch base with you a well. We as mothers tend to forget that sometimes And you know what? They will cope with you gone for a small while.
I have coffee with my friends , twice a week.Its only for an hour and a bit, but it is me time. I can now walk away from a messy house to go.The reason? My friends have been good enough to give up really going out with me and are happy to do coffee. Some days all I talk about is me but thats ok. next time I make it all about them.

Balance and compromise is now where you are at. Give yourself some time to get the hang of it and you will feel the benefit.

I wish there was a quick fix solution I could give you, but experience is all \I have.With the promise that good days will come again!

Of course, like you have done already, lean on us. Let us help with your burden. Write it all down in a post or pm me. I will take all your cares and woes and treat them with great respect, and then...throw them away.

Your very name says it all, Faith. You have the strength and courage to keep going, I know you do. You have hit a bad patch, let us help you thru it.
Gentle hugs, Cath.

You are in my prayers. I think the other ladies are right and it's time to have a talk with your husband, your partner. If you google PTC the wikipedia explanation states it very plainly that the symptoms are that of a large brain tumor - read it to him. Explain that you guys are blessed that you are not dealing with a brain tumor but that the pain you are dealing with is very real and you need his support.

In the meantime, slow down. The messy house will be there when you feel like cleaning it. Put dinner in the crock pot and enlist help cleaning and grocery shopping. If the help you ask for doesn't show up, start having sandwiches. When asked why, explain that it is all you are capable of preparing and cleaning up alone.

I've started dusting and cleaning up one room at a time. Floors must be done by my son or husband as I'm still recovering from surgery but even so, I've come to let go of my OCD tendencies where the house is concerned - I'm the only one who cared anyway!

Something I've also learned is the outdoors helps. I'm in horrific pain since my surgery (something wrong with my catheder) and cann hardly walk so I haven't been out of the house much in the past several months. I make it a point to just walk out into the garage or driveway for at least a few minutes, it helps beat the depression.

Hugs and prayers!

I can also relate with healthyliving. I did the same thing on Thursday after getting bad news. Then had a horrible headache on Friday.

Sometimes you just gotta let the frustration and tears out, say a lengthy prayer and move on.

I got inspired to start a blog space for myself or anyone else that needed it.

http://prayersofhope2u.blogspot.com/

Faith, you have my prayers and my understanding, I feel the same right now and I've decided to take care of ME. It's not selfish, it's OK. We are the caregivers and we must take care of ourselves in order to care for others.. so think of it as a gift to your family, by taking some me time for you..

You asked for prayers but don't forget PRAYERS ARE POWERFUL !!
We will all keep you in ours and you be sure to keep your faith no matter what . That is so hard isn't it ? So hard for all of us but just remember who is on your side !!

I agree that sometimes we all just need a GOOD CRY......It is very difficult to deal with this condition and just as difficult being a wife and a mother....No matter what, NEVER forget that "God will never give you more than you can handle" you are a strong individual and through your strength others will find peace, whether you recognize it now or not.......Please keep your head up, and I Will keep you in my Prayers....

Don't forget to let yourself have a good freak out and cry. You are dealing with alot and it is ok to feel like you are at the point of no return.

It is healthy to get those feeling out and let go of them.

Don't forget to take some time your yourself everyday, even if it is only 15 min and relax.

Thank you everyone !!!

faith, I will definately keep you in my prayers and I can completely understand. That has been so hard for me to not be able to be the same person I used to be. I used to be the girl who kept the house spottless and the laundry done and the meals cooked and the bills written and worked a full time job, but with this illness all that went out the door. I no longer work. I struggle with the day to day activities and feel like I am not the wife and mother I used to be, but do the best I can and I have really struggled with that. I feel like the old me is gone and I am trying to accept this new me and I am resistant. The thing that has helped me most is to try to focus on the positive and pray for peace with this. I hope you feel better soon.

Always in my prayers, And I whole heartedly believe everyone is right. Cath gave wonderful advice. It is ok to not do and be all. As women that is the hardest pill to swallow. Ask for help. I have just had to have my mom(she is 53) come and help clean my house for thanksgiving because I am a fruit loop right now and can't accomplish anything. My husband took this week off work to help too. It was so hard for me to even ask but I realized I have no choice. Kids included. They do more than most BUT, it's ok. They still get their time away. So see I wouldn't tell you to do something I would not be willing to do. Hang in there better days will come around. We are all here for you!!

Im with you sister. do you know the lords prayer? Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference. i say this every day. i am not a religious person but this prayer hits home and even if im not asking God to grant me this, and am asking myself to accept and grow thru the holes ive been ddrug thru lately. i try and i do mean try, when my husband and i argue to remember that he is only human and i cannot expect him to pick up all of my slack when i am down. i just have to except that my house will probably not be clean to my liking if im having a bad week and i just have to not care that the neighbor may come over and see my unvacumed carpet or my mile high pile of laundry. i do my best and thats all i can do.
well i have no idea if anything i have said makes sence, my 4rth dilaudid of the day is kicking in and i didnt sleep last night but maybe 10 mins.
just know you are in my prayers and may you find the strength you need to fight.
ky

Faith I will keep you in my prayers. I have been at this point before many times and can relate. Please try to hold on and live Gods plan. Because if God brings you to it he will bring you through it.
Hugs,
Mandy