I am nervous about having my #3... but I love it.
I think it is natural to be scared. It shows how serious you think having a child really is.

my son was not planned at all, i am a single mum, and honestly i couldnt be happier, i love being a mum. it really was the best thing to happen to me.
i mean it is hard and scary, but also so rewarding, it brings tears of joy to my eyes when my son smiles and giggles ;-)

I was like you always thinking of things that should be "fixed" or different before we started trying. Then two of my good friends got pregnant and it was like a switch flipped inside me and suddenly, all that stuff we wanted to do/get done didn't matter anymore! I think it's totally natural to want things to be perfect or different from what they are - face it, we'd all love to bring a baby into the world using our perfect body, bring him/her home to the perfect house, perfect nursery, etc. But honestly, once you get pregnant it all seems RIGHT! At least it did for me :) Good luck. And yes, just like everyone else, you are still scared out of your head about stuff a lot of the time! People tell me that never changes :)

and.. regarding your weight...
do it to be healthy, not for any other reason. (my opinion)

and just know.. you will gain weight during pregnancy, but it could be as low as 15-25 pounds or higher. You won't be eating for 2.. you will only need 300-500 more calories per day, and then more if you decide to breastfeed.

I have gained over 80 pounds with one of my babies, but i was determined afterwards to lose it to be healthy for my baby. It takes 9-12 months after birth usually to get back to a pre-pregnancy size.

have patience with weight. pregnancy really changes our bodies and weight isn't important as much as health and fitness (does that make sense?)

There are easy ways to lose the weight that are often overlooked. Don't change your diet. Instead change the ingredients of the food you love. If you like waffles, eat waffles, just get whole weat waffles instead and get a fruit based topping instead of sugar. It's hard to get motivated when you're depriving yourself. Be honest, food is just too yummy to ignore, so just mix in some nutrition. It makes a big difference. Sorry that I can't really help on the real issue. But it would seem that when you're truely ready, you'll know it. You still have time.

well i thought i was soo ready for itand then i fell pregannt and it scared the crap out of me and for a while i thought god iv done the wrong thing,but now i cant wait to have him and love him with all my heart, i think u shud go for it :)

Mayeb if you plan everything out it would decrease your anxiety. For example, set an estimated date on when your house should be sold, and when you will move into a new place.

Once you figure that out, why don't you figure out how much weight you would like to lose and figure out how you plan to lose it, and by when.

Once those two things are down maybe you can decide on exactly when you would liket o start trying...remember it can take up to a year to even get pregnant so you probably have time to take care of lots of thinks on your to do list.

I think the schedule/list will help to decrease your anxiety.

Good luck!

I'm 32 and still wasn't sure that I wanted a kid. Here I am though and it took awhile to get used to but now I'm very excited! Maybe you're just scared and it will all fall into place once you're pregnant. Either way you're still young so just enjoy yourself and don't rush into it!

thanx guys, that was really helpful,

i think wot i'm affraid of too, is if we're not able to have kids, i know i'm not really old to have a baby, BUT what if we run into difficulties, time may just run out for me, if i 100% knew i could have them, i'd probli wait another couple of years, if you get what i mean!

mkat - your so right about the being healthy thing, an i reckon, apart from my weight problem, i'm fitter and healthier than lots of slim people i know!
i love fruit and veg, my main meals are always low fat an healthy and i do lots of walking as i have a large dog - but its just boozing! lol and then the crap i eat inbetween! if i could just stick to my main meals the weight would fall off! and of course when we do start trying i will not drink at all.

so non of you mentioned the horror of giving birth!!!!! cos that is obviously a major scary factor!!
do you just get on with it and well, get over it?????
xxxx vicky xxxx

i am overweight and have been for a few years now, before i got pregnant i started eating fruit and veg as snacks in between and if i felt like choclate then id get a small bar melt it down and chop up banana apples and grapes coat them in choc and put them in fridge to harden. lol a quick easy choccy treat that was also good for me lol. i wasnt too bothered about crisps but bourbon biscuits are my absolute favourites and i started puttin 2 in a lil bag and getting my partner to hide them where i couldnt find them lol. i was only allowed 2 biscuits a day on an evening so he had to go get them for me. sounds really strange but i lost half a stone in 4 weeks and fell pregnant over xmas last year. but i actually lost more weight during the pregnancy by sticking to eating freshly prepared foods but i havent lost any weight since i reached 14 weeks and my doc and midwife are happy with what i am now but i found that once i started eating healthier i didnt want to stop lol. weird but true and as im under high risk i get checked out reg so i dont worry about it too much. as for getting pregnant n being ready iv been ready since i was 16 but im absolutly terrified. but i know il be ok so i say go for it when you feel ready and youl be happier in yourself then. xx

Every woman is different, of course. But here are some of my reflections:

For me, there were subtle differences between feeling I really wanted to have a baby and feeling really ready to have a baby. When I was younger, I'd confuse the two and say I was READY when what I really felt was the WANTING. Just make sure you know which you are experiencing (since you are in planning mode).

I also have realized that there's no "perfect" time to have a child. We will always have problems/issues. This is not to say that anyone should strive to bring a child into horrendous situations, but, hey. If we all waited for perfection (in terms of body, career, etc), the world would be an underpopulated plave.

Third, I now know that when I felt that deep wanting but got hung up on stuff I needed to "fix" first, I was really saying to myself, "I want this but am not 100% ready." Granted, I didn't have this understanding back in the "wanting" phase, but I decided to take the time to work on me (since, really, once you have a baby you don't get to be selfish and self centered. ;-) ).

So here I am now, pregant. I will say that, as with some of the other women, I KNEW when the time was right to try. But I will also say that you don't need to KNOW the time is right, then plan, then conceive in order to be a good mom. Hey, surprises happen. And many women KNOW the time is right after they have been surprised. And that's just fabulous, too.

Finally, just remember that even if you plan to the nth degree, even if you KNOW you are READY and REALLY REALLY WANT to have a baby, even if you have everything as close to perfect as possible, you will still have anxiety and doubt. YOu will still be scared. Becoming a motehr--being responsible for creating, maintaining, and nurturing another life--is a monumental undertaking and responsibility. I'd be worried if any mother felt totally blase and nonchalant about it.

Those are my [rambling] thoughts. Good luck. And remember: whatever you decide will be right for you for now. :-)