Don't feel guilty. Your baby is precious and needs it's mommy. It's really important though that you be as sensitive as possible to your sister. You might not want to talk about pregnancy symptoms or baby stuff with her for a while. Be there for her, she will appreciate it.

i understand the situation you are in, the same thing happened to me when i was pregnant with my second child, but i dont have any older siblings, so it was my best friend. she had 3 miscarriages and was trying hard to conceive again, and on my first time with out protection i got pregnant with a little girl. My best friend seemed so mad, and depressed, i was afraid i would have to stop being friends with her so she would not feel so bad, but i eventually told her how i feel and she told me there were no hard feelings, and God allows everything to happen for a reason, and apparently it was not her time to be pregnant. I still feel bad to this day, but all you can do is pray and talk to her about it, but on her time. Just try to not seem too eager to talk to her about it, after all having in miscarriage is devistating!!

I am going through something kind of similar right now. My cousin had her baby 13 weeks early and he's been struggling in the NICU for a while now. And everytime they get news that he is having a new problem or something else has gone wrong, I feel so guilty. I've already made it further along in the pregnancy and there is this part of me that feels really guilty about the possibility of having a healthy son when her son, who will only be about five months older than mine, will have a lot of health problems. Of course, I want a healthy baby and I know, rationally, that everyone will be happy for a healthy baby, including my cousin. She's not the kind of person that would wish pain on me just because she's going through it. I try to just be there for her and not think about my guilt too much, because it's not about me. And yeah, I censor myself a bit while talking to her. I don't really like talking about how far along I am, because she never got here. And when we talk about our sons growing up together, we keep it light-hearted and just talk about the good things and not the issues her son might have keeping up with mine. It's a struggle, but I'm sure your sister will be happy for you and she will love your baby. The hardest part will be these next few months. But careful about what you say around her about pregnancy and having a baby, because she'll still be sensitive about it. But in time, if you're just there for her, she'll be ready to be there for you and she'll probably be ready to try again for another baby.

Thank you all for you support and kind words. xx

I've been on the other end of this issue. One of my best friends was two weeks farther along that I was when when I had my first m/c in 07. A month after it happened, my other best friend found out she was pregnant. Then at the first bf's baby shower, I miscarried for the second time. It was very hard and I still have a hard time being around my friend's daughter sometimes, but it just wasn't my time. I now have a beautiful 21 month ld daughter and am 7w pregnant.
Just be there for her and let her know you love her and are there for her. Follow her lead. If she wants to talk about your baby, or even hers, let her. It will help.
take care

Thank you. I hope in time my sister can be as lucky as I am.

The best advice I can give you is that it is ok to feel guilty, I think it is more you feel guilty that it happened to her. But on the other hand, you have to continue to take care of yourself. I have been on the other end...I experienced a loss and had people around me pregnant, and showing up pregnant. The best thing you can do is be there if she wants to talk, and understand if she doesn't want to. Mommies who lose babies are delicate for a while, and although deep down inside they are still happy for their pregnant friends/family, they are hurting, and seeing or talking to those people may make it harder. So just be there if she needs you, and if she needs space let her have it.

Thank you.
I went to see my sister yesterday, she says she feels fine but has her moments. She is trying to put on a brave face for everyone. She told me she is still going to take the folic acid and the vitamins which sounds positive.

Hi everyone, All your advice and support has helped me.
Just to give everyone an update, My sister is being reffered to fertility clinic again.
She is starting to talk to me about my baby and felt the bump for the first time the other week.
I still feel very uncomfortable about talking to her about my pregancy.
I am having some complications and some people are being over protective.
I have been having time off work because of stomach pains the other week and I called the midwife and was advised to rest. I was told by a family member that I was stupid and should have gone to the hospital instead. Eventhough I had spoken to the hospital over the phone.
I spent all day Friday in bed as I was being sick the night before and had little sleep. I thought I would be ok for work, but when I got there I realised I shouldn't have gone. I went home and went straight to bed. My husband even came home from work to look after me and all I did was sleep till this morning. I have never felt this tired and yet again I had my sister telling me off and was being very harsh. All I needed at the time was rest.

Sorry for the essay

No need for guilt when you've done nothing wrong. 20% of known pregnancies result in miscarriages, so the actual rate is even higher. You did nothing to your sister. Just be sensitive to her but assert your own needs. She should not be "telling you off" or "harsh."

You were not stupid to listen to the midwife and go home and sleep. We Westerners are conditioned to think the hospital is always safest and doctors walk on water, but it simply isn't so. They could likely do nothing for you except send a huge bill. 100,000+ people die needlessly every year from errors made in American hospitals and many people acquire infections and viruses from all the sick people there. I see you are British, and you could research their numbers if you need a good scare.

It really sucks when we feel crappy and there is nothing to do but self-care and letting time pass. I suggest practicing relaxation, meditation and emotional coping techniques. Remember, "This too shall pass."

Take care.

Id say if anything your sister might have been overly harsh as she wants u to be ok and the baby.I know when we lost our daughter a friend was Preg and got sick and I was so worried shed suffer the pain we did.
being Preg makes us more emotional too..and it will take ur sis a few to get her hormones and emotions in control. Nothing wrong being cautious about it. If ur comfy with ur midwife and feel she is able to adiqutly take care of all ur needs then stick to it. After all we been through I see a specialist at the hospita, but that's our choice we are comfy with. No matter what follow your gut. And try to remember the family just wants u safe and the baby.