Pregnancy Support Group
Welcome to the waiting room for anticipating moms and dads. Whether you're expecting your first or a new little brother or sister, meet other parents in this community who are also looking forward to a new addition to the family.
Hi my names kayle im 21 and i just found out i am pregnent.
When I was 17 i fell pregenent with my boyfriend of 2 years it was a very upsetting time for me because my boyfriend at the time told me if i didnt abort he would want nothing to do with me and our child. I was living in cornwall at the time and had no family or friends around me. I thought that he was the love of my life and ended up givin in to him and aborting our baby. About a month later we both moved back home with our perants and he split up with me.
After that relationship ended i started a new one with a guy while livin in england age 19 we had sex without contriception for over a year and i never fell pregnant so i thought that i had messed my body up due to the abortion. I knew from square one that i didnt really love him and i guess i was going out with him for security because he was so much of a nice guy i felt like he would never leave me. In the end i knew that i couldnt carry on living a lie and had to finish the relationship. we are still friends and i care about him alot.
In april this year i started going out with my currant boyfriend simon. when we met we had so much in common everything i said he seemed to finnish i never thought that i would ever feel the way i did with him. We both agreed that we are sole mates. i have only been back home about 2 weeks out of the time i have known him and spent all the rest of the time with him.
ON WED 25TH JULY 2007 I found out that i was approx 5 weeks preg. when the nurse told me i couldnt stop smilein years of worryin that i could not have kids was finally over. Then it struck me that i was going to have to tell simon that i am pregnant. when he got home from work i told him as soon as he came in the living room he did not look happy. He said to me that we had only been together for a few weeks and that it was a bad decission to bring a child into the world so soon of knowin each other. I started to cry and told him that i could not go throw another abortion again. simon went quiet and after a few hours acted normal towards me. we went to bed as normal and the next day wen he came home from work said that he had been thinkin about it all day. he said he wasnt ready to have a baby at 28, we had not known each other long enough to know if we wanna be together, he did not want to be a part time dad and he didnt want his perants to only see there granchild every now and then ....he also said that if we had been together for 10 months or longer he would be really happy and doing cart wheels. I couldnt stop cryin cause he kept on shoutin i told him i needed to go home and think about what i want. i phoned my mother and asked her to pick me up. my mum said no matter what happens she will be behind me 100% .
ON monday i went to the docs and spoke to him about everything. it was kinda like talking to a brick wall. i got folic acid given to me off him and decided that i really want to keep this baby. on tues 7th aug i came back to simons house and we havent spoken about the pregnancy what so ever. today the 11th i got a call off my mum saying the midwife needs to make arragments to speak to me. i have been avoiding speaking to simon about my decision and thought i better had say somthing other wise its just going to get worse. he is now out with one of his friends so i tx him to say ...i need to make arragements for a ultrasound are you going to come with me.. he said ....u keepin it en?! i said ....i wanted to tell you but i was frightend about how u were going to react....he said omg! i want you! but cant we sort it and see where we get 1st its called being sensable. I said things are not going to go back the way they were if i did abort cause i would resent the fact you made me do it im trying to be trufull to you simon i want this to work i dont want to pressure you into anything but i need to know if you want me to be down this way with you because i need to sort out the hospital midwife and accomidation...he said i cant haddle this please? i cant look after my self.
I want to know do you ppl think i am being unfair and should abort or do you think i should stick to my guns and have our baby
When I was 17 i fell pregenent with my boyfriend of 2 years it was a very upsetting time for me because my boyfriend at the time told me if i didnt abort he would want nothing to do with me and our child. I was living in cornwall at the time and had no family or friends around me. I thought that he was the love of my life and ended up givin in to him and aborting our baby. About a month later we both moved back home with our perants and he split up with me.
After that relationship ended i started a new one with a guy while livin in england age 19 we had sex without contriception for over a year and i never fell pregnant so i thought that i had messed my body up due to the abortion. I knew from square one that i didnt really love him and i guess i was going out with him for security because he was so much of a nice guy i felt like he would never leave me. In the end i knew that i couldnt carry on living a lie and had to finish the relationship. we are still friends and i care about him alot.
In april this year i started going out with my currant boyfriend simon. when we met we had so much in common everything i said he seemed to finnish i never thought that i would ever feel the way i did with him. We both agreed that we are sole mates. i have only been back home about 2 weeks out of the time i have known him and spent all the rest of the time with him.
ON WED 25TH JULY 2007 I found out that i was approx 5 weeks preg. when the nurse told me i couldnt stop smilein years of worryin that i could not have kids was finally over. Then it struck me that i was going to have to tell simon that i am pregnant. when he got home from work i told him as soon as he came in the living room he did not look happy. He said to me that we had only been together for a few weeks and that it was a bad decission to bring a child into the world so soon of knowin each other. I started to cry and told him that i could not go throw another abortion again. simon went quiet and after a few hours acted normal towards me. we went to bed as normal and the next day wen he came home from work said that he had been thinkin about it all day. he said he wasnt ready to have a baby at 28, we had not known each other long enough to know if we wanna be together, he did not want to be a part time dad and he didnt want his perants to only see there granchild every now and then ....he also said that if we had been together for 10 months or longer he would be really happy and doing cart wheels. I couldnt stop cryin cause he kept on shoutin i told him i needed to go home and think about what i want. i phoned my mother and asked her to pick me up. my mum said no matter what happens she will be behind me 100% .
ON monday i went to the docs and spoke to him about everything. it was kinda like talking to a brick wall. i got folic acid given to me off him and decided that i really want to keep this baby. on tues 7th aug i came back to simons house and we havent spoken about the pregnancy what so ever. today the 11th i got a call off my mum saying the midwife needs to make arragments to speak to me. i have been avoiding speaking to simon about my decision and thought i better had say somthing other wise its just going to get worse. he is now out with one of his friends so i tx him to say ...i need to make arragements for a ultrasound are you going to come with me.. he said ....u keepin it en?! i said ....i wanted to tell you but i was frightend about how u were going to react....he said omg! i want you! but cant we sort it and see where we get 1st its called being sensable. I said things are not going to go back the way they were if i did abort cause i would resent the fact you made me do it im trying to be trufull to you simon i want this to work i dont want to pressure you into anything but i need to know if you want me to be down this way with you because i need to sort out the hospital midwife and accomidation...he said i cant haddle this please? i cant look after my self.
I want to know do you ppl think i am being unfair and should abort or do you think i should stick to my guns and have our baby
PS MissPink, if you do get this I am very sorry that you have to see this discussion if you are still recieving emails on it. I know that losing a baby is a very hard thing even if you hadn't quite adjusted to it. I hope you have a smile on your face today =) meesage me if you ever need some support
You so obviously want this child. This guy may or may not leave you regardless of what you do. You feel that little life inside you and you are happy right? Why deny yourself the pleasure of unconditional love you can only receive from a child? And you may not get another chance if you abort. This could be God's way of giving you a second chance. Your mom is there to support you so you are not alone. I know you must feel regret and sorrow from the first time, you don't want to double it do you?
He is the one who is unfair. Yes he is being honest with his feelings about not being ready and that is ok he feels that way, but you both laid in the bed knowing what the consequences of having sex are. He can feel the way he does but can also support you and take care of his new family. He will have to step up whether by choice or by court appointment. And it is not as if he is the only one in this even though he may act like you are doing this to him. You both made the choice to bed down. Now you have a precious life growing inside as a result of that choice regardless of the fact you thought you could not concieve.
You must look to yourself for your own happiness and love. Don't count on someone else (boyfriend, even the baby) to make you happy (it is not fair to put that responsibility on someone else) because inevitably you will be dissapointed and most unhappy. Go to support groups that are face-to-face (F2F), go to counseling. Build your confidence, self love, spirituality. TRUST YOURSELF, and Trust in GOD. LOVE YOURSELF. You know the right thing to do for you and for your baby. And aborting would be right for no one even though he feels it is right for him now. That is something that will weigh painfully upon your minds & hearts for the rest of your lives, including those that loose the opportunity to have that child in their life)
And should he decide to not be supportive, know that you CAN do this alone. You are a woman, you are a mother RIGHT NOW. (arn't you providing a warm shelter for your baby in your womb? arn't you nourishing your baby through what you eat?) You are already providing for your child. And being a mother just makes a woman stronger. You are strong enough to do what you need to do to without him. You already are doing it.
God Bless you with whatever you choose. And all those here in this forum are here for you. (((((Kayle))))))
(these mean hugs)