Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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the song, "young at heart" was very popular among the janes and johns who patronized the kiddie whorehouses i grew up in during the 60's. i neither know, nor care, whether it was the frank sinatra version, perry como or any of the other versions which have been recorded since frankie's original in 1954. among my fellow victims who mutilated the song outside living room windows there is a wandering wonder if my having been born the year that song was released was the mark of the devil. i have had a young at heart phobia for as long as i can remember. it always gave me nightmares of psychic vampires who eat children in order to keep their own hearts young. even after i was old enough to understand the metaphor, the sight of dyed hair is enough to trigger my flight instinct. ditto for the young-at-heart platitudes. don't youthenize me.
the song has been on continual replay inside my head for several weeks now. the weird part is that i have been enjoying it. i have been finding playful contentment in crooning along with whatever version is currently playing in my head. it just might be one of the finest croon songs ever produced. i haven't gotten as far as being able to remember the paradies we made up outside the living room windows, but the memories of having done so have not triggered me to the self-loathing of having been one of "those kids."
taking votes here. is this progress or just another trip down the proverbial rabbit hole?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Sometimes it speaks directly to the moment, as with Steve Winwood's "While You See A Chance Take It," which is the song that encouraged me to break my 10 year non-dating streak and ask my current s/o out. Other times it's less direct than that.
I don't know for sure, of course, but given what you say about this song turning around for you to something you can enjoy may be progress being signaled to you from your subconscious. Hope so.
my delayed speech development made it so that music is, quite literally, my first language. "juke box" doesn't quite cover the music which plays inside my head continually. that is mostly a blessing, but in the case of songs which are heavily connected to trauma, the blessing becomes a curse. being able to turn one of the trauma-cursed songs around always feels like progress to me.
Oh yea for sure this sounds like progress to me
Gentle hug <3
i won't live long enough to untangle all of my child prostitute's share of psycho snot knots, but it sure is a brain relief when i manage to untangle another one.