Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
You can pick up a stone and clean it until it shines. You can declare its value at $100...but it doesn't sell. Perhaps someone offers you $50. You reject the offer because it's worth more. So instead it sits on the shelf gathering dust.
Worth depends on others. What others are willing to pay and not just declare. It's the same with people...
I've had people tell me how wonderful I am and how much I deserve...but the truth is, all anyone has ever done is show me my worth...or, rather, what I am not worth.
I am not worth standing up for. I'm not worth defending. I'm not worth saving. I'm not worth loving. I'm not even worth keeping around if it demands any kind of effort. I am not worth anything more than words.
That many people...can't be wrong.
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
But if you wanted me to clean your house, you'd probably have to offer me some money.
And if you wanted me to drive you across the state, you'd have to offer me more money than that...(I hate driving long distances!)
The dollar value on my time may vary, but that doesn't mean that "my value" varies. I mean a lot to myself and to my children, and a few others...to most of the world...not so much.
Yes, in one sense everyone's value (or at least work value) is set by others, but if my doctor died tomorrow...I'd find another one. Most of us are replaceable. I actually find comfort in that. The world doesn't "count" on me. I'm just not that important. That means that it's okay for me to be less than perfect...I can be me, my children can be just them.
Oh what's the example that just came up. Oh yeah, I have a plastic bin that's broken on the bottom. My son started to go into a (his words) "stupid kid story" about how he broke it. .....Does it matter? He'll break far more expensive things than a ten dollar plastic bin. (Like the $50 he just lost because he didn't have the right identification to take the SATs, etc, etc.) We all make mistakes...his value doesn't change to me.
I get out of this particular conundrum by working on my own, strictly personal self-esteem and social anxiety. When I am feeling healthy and fit, other people's opinion of me is not very important. When my self-esteem is crumbling and my social anxieties are out of control, the highest praise on the planet will feel like I am being buttered for sacrificial roasting.
But that is just-a-patient me. . .
Continued support while you sort your own, Grace.
((((((((((Grace)))))))))))