Yep. I have to believe that I will get better. It is hope that keeps me from sinking into complete dispair and offing myself. The pain of living with PTSD is overwhelming at times, the depression, anxiety, fear and other symptoms cripple me at times. I think I will be a stronger person once I recover from this. However, I do not expect to get well over night. I know it will be a lot of work and I know some of it will be painful. Hope is all I have and thankfully I have been on the road to recovery and know how good that feels. Unfortunately with PTSD you can slip backwards with one good trigger. This is where I am now. It is incredible how far backwards you can spiral in such a short time. Unfortunately my family just does not understand when I am like this. My husband actually took it personally telling me that my drinking was an attempt to get him off his diet. He has no idea the pain I am in and no way to understand it. I have given up trying to get him to understand. If I want support this is where I get it from. This forum understand me and what I am going through. PTSD sucks....but I believe I will beat it.

Hope- something that seems so far and yet so close for us. Right now, i have a very hard time believing that I can ever fully recover from all the traumas experienced. My brother and I had a very nasty argument, and boy, did I want to hurt him. It amazes me to see the things that come out of someone. I rather have someone hit me than tell me threats and vulgar words.

I want to believe that we are doing something for ourselves by getting on this website and being open. This has been a haven for me. I am with CrazyCanuk on that, it can be horrible to fall or spiral backwards when you are doing well. I am right with you there. The depression and anxiety has skyrocketed for me lately also.

I believe that living in the same envt where you experienced traumas is unhealthy, but also those who don't contribute any goodness in your life. My whole family has been affected by ptsd, one way or another and they just point me out more because of my distance and anger. Ur husband can't really understand what u r dealing with. The lack of understanding from families and/or loved ones makes all the matters difficult.