How I would love to be an encouragement right now but I feel exactly the same way. I think my psychologist is fedup along with my psychiatrist. I wanted to over dose last night on my sleeping pils,but I did not take enough.I hate living and I have no interest in anything. Where is the beauty of life? The abundant joy? the hope of eternity. Why is it wrong to chose suicide? Whats wrong with ending life on your time?

Hope is one of those things that can be fleeting. However, just because it eludes you right now does not mean it will elude you forever. I don't mean to come off as arrogant or assuming. I am just speaking from personal experience. Obviously I don't know your situation but I do know that I once lost all hope and with a lot of work and some help, I am in a much better place now. It was a long road to get here but one that I am thankful everyday that I was able and willing to make. Take good care of yourself.

I just read your profile and you seem to have a lot going for you. Its just this horrible disorder it seems. I hope you are on an upswing soon. HUGS

If anything, you have seen the dark side and you know more because of it. You are a comfort to those around you who also suffer. People see your bravery and it makes them feel stronger. Just don't act on anything when you are feeling at your lowest, it will pass. Put your hopes on the things that will not take you down EVER AGAIN. Take Care, Sofie

In case anyone hasn't heard this one yet...suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Seeing life clearly means that we see it as a stew of uncertainty and unpredictability where anything...good or bad...can happen.

I have posted "i'm done" before and people always have assumed i was talking about suicide and i NEVER was.

I think thte attitidue you have makes sense and it has helped me before.When you say "i'm done pullying myself up"................It actually gives you a respite of trying so hard and an acceptance of just being where you are at the moment, that takes away a lot of pressure to do the impossible at the moment.............

PTSD is not a movie in Hollywood that you "keep going and yada,yada".............

In some cases chances of recovery are slim depending on the trauma and how long, when what kind it was......

Some of us will have to live with certain limitations, certain, and we can develop other traits to compensate for those, eventually.

Treating PTSD like a rambo movie where you get cliches like "don't give up man, yada, yada," doesn't work for some..

Maybe right now you need a break...........just let yourself be and get plenty of rest.

I feel like you a lot and when i give up trying so damn hard, all of a sudden i feel better.

I'm very much feeling the same, why bother pulling yourself up just to be hurt again...

But I'm sure both of us will catch a bizillenth wind and start the whole process all over again...

Overtime my "down" times have been less and my "up" times more, so I guess maybe by the time I reach 100 I'll be somewhat "normal" =D

Hang in there my friend there is an up swing right around the corner...

I appreciate all the replies but let me state that I have a family that actually depends on me...suicide is not an option because I wont solve anything and only hurt the best things in my life...that would be selfish.

I have however come to believe that if something seems like it's going well that's when I need to worry...if I just stay low I have a lot less further to fall. I am done getting my hopes up when something good seems to be about to happen.

So many responces so many differences. We are all hurting children trying to live in a grownup world. I'm sorry for everyone who has been sexually and physicallly and mentally abused. This not what God had in mind when he created men. I want to die so I can go to heaven away from this evil world. But am I playing God taking my own life? How do we over come the neglect and mental abuse from our parents? Or our Spouses and even the discust in our own childrens eyes? I wish there was someone out there that wanted to take on my case of an horendious mentally sexually and physical domination of my life as a child. I just can't seem to over come it and the more I do not understand the more I hate myself the more I want to hurt myself and end my life. Who can honestly comprehend what it was like growing up with a sociopathic Mother and an unavailable father.where every stranger in your house became the violationto your own innocnse. I do not know what to do any more. People are so desensatised to childhood sexual abuse that we are treated like psychotic criminals for even confessing our experiences. Lord have mercy on us.Is there any hope for us adults suffering from our childhood neglct. If I can not find help and encouragement for me and othersthen why bother living? It is hopeless

a reason for hope....
because while it may not feel like the worst is over some days it is.
Although we may not know why we have survived WE HAVE SURVIVED.
The days do get better...there are just bad days mixed in with good days, and a lot of times it feels like more bad than good, I know.

We may not know why we survived, and maybe we didnt want too, but we did, and thats the most important part. We are here, and we are here for reason. What we do now, is up to us, and yes it is a struggle most days. The healing process is a process.
DS is a good place my friend.
Hugs to you, all of you.