hey annie... I can identify with you... I have had suicidal thoughts every since I was a teen and had several failed attempts... but my children have given me cause to stay around... many times I would have a thought of killing myself and somewhere in my brain... the thought would come alive and say 'what would your children do?' and ' who would take care of them' and 'do I want them to find me dead?'... but now my kids are grown and on their own and I have some grandchildren... and now I have made a decision with myself that I am not leaving that legacy behind for my hubby, children, and grandchildren to say that I killed myself... and this has prompted me to get more help... ie, better antidepressants and other meds... trying to sleep it off, talk to my counselor, talk to family... the most serious times are when I will not say anything to anyone... I know the 3 stages of suicide... 1. the thought ... 2. planning it.... 3. doing it... I have told myself that I will catch it by stage 2 and if I have too (which I have before) call 911 to protect myself...

"Narcissistic supply." I hear you. As you know, since you posted support for me there (THANKS!) my abuser is a narcissist who tried stalking me again this week with a post card at work.

Being "narcissistic supply" to me means just being an object for your narcissist, not a person with rights and needs and feelings to be recognized. All of that can leave you feeling alone and isolated, like your poem says.

May you feel less alone when you can write about it here, Anne, and have us respond letting you know we hear you and feel what you feel. Because we've been there, too. You're not alone.

My father is a narcissist, so I hear you! It is hard to keep any sense of self-worth when you are seen only as an object and something to make him feel good about himself by putting you down.

Am glad you are posting here. I hope it helps a little, knowing you are not alone and that your feelings are shared by others.

Blessings for you and your little boy. You both deserve to be happy and to be treated with respect.

Geez, my brother is the narcissist, and I dumped him. Still need the money he stole from me. Darlin', he doesn't need you. He is an uncaring bastard who manipulates everyone. Come Home.

"I am unknown to anyone
And unloved "

That may feel true, but not here. Your input and views are valued. You can be that "Stronger person" by the words of the rest of your post. Now just limit that work for you and your son. The rest will move on, if the only answer they get when they come for help is.

"NO".

"All my energy is for me and my son now."

You have that right to self persevere.
Hugs J.