For what it's worth, I was already worried about this before he started, fearful that we would have to go through this again.

That's a loaded question.

Myself, I don't get too worked up over labels. An event that one person can sail through, can leave another devastated. But that sort of makes sense...yes?

A truck can pull a lot more weight than a car. Try pulling a big trailer with a small car, and you'll destroy your small car. But then try squeezing a big truck through a small tunnel and you'll destroy the truck. It's not that one is "better" than the other...just that what stresses one, isn't the same as what stresses another.

It's somewhat obvious that the Event(s) themselves count, the amount of support you have before and after the event counts, and there's also a lot of research that the prenatal environment counts too (read about The Dutch Hunger Winter and diabetes). Age probably matters, brain damage...all sorts of stuff... History too...(been through this one, twice, a hundred...)

And then there's the "cut-off". When is something "just stress" and when is it PTSD? To a certain extent it's a straw on camel's back thing. Pile enough light straw on there...and it will break.

My first off the cuff thought...is that no...that's not PTSD, just the effects of what you're describing don't seem awful enough. Which is NOT to say that stress isn't awful. It beyond all things is.

That said...again..sometimes I wonder if it matters? The things that work for stress (PTSD or not)...are well...things that work for stress.

As far as I'm concerned, everyone is welcome. Come on sit down, have some tea, smash something if you need to, vent, whatever... This is a great group of people. There's no moderator. You're welcome to share as much or as little as you want. If posting something that could be triggering we generally put a ***TW*** at the top of the post. We'll use a ***FF*** if we're "feeling fragile". And a "no advice please"...for when we just want hugs and general support.

In any case, sorry for the reasons you're here, but welcome, Patti

Let your husband handle it. If things are truly getting stressful he should share this. It's common for companies to hire on help early when a new or big project is upcoming. I think we're all high maintenance the first few weeks on the job. Try to relax....one less thing for hubby to worry about. Be there for him and be supportive and encouraging.

Thank you Patti and Zoe....

Part of the anxiety comes from his having an abusive boss two jobs back. He was with that company for five years, and got another offer so he took it (by this point, abusive boss was somewhat out of the pic). The new job lasted 9 months, before the company got bought out and they laid 2 people off. His job hunt was a lot of looks good, then nothing. This op moved fast...like a week. It was so perfect timing because our money was just about out.

I guess I am fearful of it happening again.

I am staying quiet. He says I am irrational.

I always thought it was normal to feel that way whenever the same situation creeps up on you like that. Like today, we had went grocery shopping thinking that the day would turn out okay but then after we got home it was a living hell. My brother and I had just unloaded the groceries from the car (our landlord took us to the store). As soon as mom came into the house, she took off her coat and voicing to us that she and the landlord is in the car talking. He told her that he was going up on the rent in May or later months. When I heard that, it felt like someone hit me real hard in the face with a car. I was so depressed and scared that I did not eat anything nor did I want to join my mother and brother when they walked over to a thrift store. I just wanted to be a lone. Right now I do not know what to do or how I feel all I can tell you is that I'm numb. I did not know weather to cry, scream, or what but I can tell you I felt unstable.

The point I'm making is in life it feels like my life is going around like a wheel. I hate seeing boxes, hearing tape, and putting things in a box. So again I truly know how you feel. Regardless how many people (even if it's family or friends), they don't know how you are feeling inside and they don't know the messy words you have to hear often. I once told my sister, who is a mother and when we used to stay with her and her family temporarily during the 1990s, how she should not judge me because she only see me one way in public but when I'm at home (in my own house) she nor anyone else have no clue what the heck is going on. When we lived in her home, we did everything to help her and earn our stay. We kept her house cleaned, made the kids' beds, washed her dishes, mom cooked her lunch and made dinner for everyone, and me and my brother walked her kids' to school, around the corner from her house. But guess what? she still did not understand us and thought we were pathetic people because of the things we did for her and her family and she thought that we would never leave her home. But we moved anyways, we did not want to live with her forever, we wanted our own space.

I'm sorry you had this experience.

So sorry you're going through such turmoil. It really sounds awful and exhausthing. I'm just a patient, so I can't answer whether it's PTSD or not. However, when I came here folks here recommended a PTSD therapist's website I still go to for solid PTSD info. It's good for quick and dirty info, or it has links that go really deep, including a book reading list of some 20 books under "Bibliotherapy," if you want that.

http://www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html

Much support to you.

Winter,

Triggers are a big part of it. I think what is triggering this response is he is waiting to hear back feedback on projects---this reminds me of when we were waiting to hear back from interviews, hoping to know he moved to the next step and only having silence. I'm so fearful of him not hearing from his bosses, especially since his first role is on a project and the customer is moving slow and he's at a standstill. The first week, before he started, his boss at least gave him stuff to do. He met with the client last week, now he's waiting for them to get back to him and in limbo again. I'm so afraid since on his last gig, things were slow to move forward and then they decided they didn't need him after 9 months (though by then, things were busy).

I'm afraid to relax. The last time I felt really calm was the day he got laid off, before I knew anything was going to happen. I had gone to the hairdresser and was heading home thinking happily about the upcoming holidays and how wonderful it would be to not have stress this year since things were going well--the week before he got a nice backpack from the company that bought out his, and we thought "phew...." I got home and he immediately headed to our bedroom to take a call (we both work from home). He wouldn't tell me why he was taking it upstairs. Next thing I know, he calls me to come up and tells me what happened. All of a sudden, the happy feeling that all was OK in the universe came crashing down. We went into fight or flight mode, determining the next course of action for everything. The next 10 weeks were a hellish emotional roller coaster of thinking he would be landing a job after a very positive interview, only to not hear back. One company put him on a serious roller coaster, promising he would have a third interview---finally he heard crickets. We would have days where we would both sink so low I was literally terrified of what was to come. Christmas was a complete blur---we put the stress in the worry box for that week, knowing that nothing would happen then. Than Jan came and things were slow to pick up.

I want to be so excited by this job and feel secure, but seeing him not have much yet and little feedback scares me. I'm so afraid. He keeps telling me I'm irrational and refuses to answer specific questions now because he doesn't have the answer I want to hear.

I'm just avoiding him at all costs now. . not eating much.