Today I began a week of doctor's visits, and it triggered me right off the bat.  I have chronic kidney disease (CKD) because of years of taking lithium and Seroquel for my PTSD on the orders of my psychiatrist.  Now I have twice as many PTSD doctor appointments--I still have to see my psychiatrist, and then I have to see my kidney doctor to help me survive my psychiatrist.  Ironic, huh?  For PTSD and CKD hand in hand.

I can't quit my psychiatrist, though, because even though psychiatrist-ordered drugs hurt me forever, my PTSD is still with me forever in my nightmares from stuff like surviving a fiery car bombing and being tortured by a military patrol abroad.  I can only sleep if I get some kind of PTSD med.  Fortunately, there is one and only one that isn't processed by kidneys, so I can take it:  Prazosin.  I got my prescription for that re-filled again today.

For my CKD, though, I had to have blood drawn to test my level of kidney function.  I'm right on the edge of needing dialysis 3 times a week just to stay alive.  Fending off dialysis allows me an active life.  Once I begin it I don't die, but I don't have much of a life other than dialysis appointments 3 times a week.  That will mean being hooked up to a machine to clean my blood for 4 hours a day after that.  

To make things more depressing, today I had a rookie trainee phlebotomist in charge of drawing my blood for my CKD tests today.  She stuck the needle in my arm and couldn't find the vein, so she rooted around for it with the needle in my arm.  The pain wasn't just momentary, like when you get a shot.  Now I have a huge painful bruise under the skin and on the skin across the middle of my right arm.

This is no way to live, and it's just the beginning.  I have more doctor's appointments like this from now through January 26th.  Oh, joy.