PTSD symptoms coming on suddenly and for no apparent reason happens to me a lot. Sometimes daily for a week. It also happens with triggers as you said. I think of it as "emotional vomiting". The story of how I acquired my PTSD symptoms is long and complex. I wrote it down in a journal entry on the DS site that anyone is welcome to read.

Maybe all symptoms can be traced back to a trigger. Does that make sense? Things I see and hear or even touch and smell can start a chain of thoughts that ends with a PTSD trigger. I'm watching television a bit more to get some "exposure therapy" with my PTSD triggers.

I experience the roller coaster, too. Some days, I'm fine & I can manage my affect level easily. Other days, even a neutral-positive interaction can trigger a mood-storm & I retreat into my dark corner.
When the thought-feelings keep me awake at night, I struggle to calm myself but recognize that this will pass. It's like you say-- like the weather.

I heard it explained like this: the trauma we've experienced rewired our brains to react from our survival instinct, even when there's no "real" immediate danger to our well-being. This keeps us out-of-balance because of the high levels of adrenaline & cortisol that goes along with Fight-or-Flight response. But we can change that "automatic" response with a conscious choice to change our minds. Each time we do, we get a little stronger.

I'm grateful for DS & for all the wonderful people here. I truly feel that I'm not alone in my experiences. Having others to share with who understand... that helps me tremendously.

I absolutely agree with this Muji.

I'm not sure if this is true for every single one, but a few of my triggers, that I don't understand, come from something I've unknowingly associated with.

For example, there are a couple songs that as soon as I hear them, my heart starts to race, and my breathing gets crazy. That makes it double hard when you do not even know why. One night, I looked up this one song to see when it came out. It just so happened that it came out during a bad period in my life. This was my "ah ha" moment! My brain had associated it and I didnt even realize.

Some associations I realize right away - like the man who played an abusive husband in Sleeping With The Enemy (Patrick Bergin). I saw him on something else one night, and because I wasn't prepared, the room started spinning and I was triggered....I changed that channel fast. That poor guy is forever embedded in my mind as evil incarnate and my exe's twin.

So I dwell on associations (known or unknown) and try to trace them back when I can. Maybe focusing on that, like a jigsaw puzzle, helps me cope and hopefully overcome some of them.

This is a very interesting thread. I hope it continues!

You sure you aren't one of the nuts off my over-sized family tree, Muji? One of my standard responses to aggressive family members is, "I grant you the power of the weather." I don't even have to explain it any more to my closest family members. It means pretty much what you summarized. You are gonna do what you are gonna do and I am gonna protect myself and anyone depending on me in whatever way is available to me. Amazing how many family members get behind me when I use this phrase. The family saying goes, "The tail side of a real bitch is one of the safest spots in nature." Woofie woof.

Great imagery, Muji. Thank you.

Good to know I'm not the only one who's decided there's some of this PTSD symptom stuff that I just have to learn to roll with. If I went back trying to trace every trigger back to the source I'd have no time to eat or sleep, much less have a productive day. On the other hand, I don't just live in denial. What I have to do is choose which ones to pay attention to for learning purposes. It's a judgment call, so I like coming here to test my judgment against the wisdom of my peers who know what it's like with PTSD.

in my own weather imagery, denial is where I stand beneath lightening filled skies trying to talk thunderhead clouds into forming ice cream castles and angel hair.

I don't need to study meteorology to know how or why to take shelter from a thunderstorm. Or a brain baking sun. Or a dust storm. Or a flash flood. Or a hurricane. Or... There sure are allot of different weather conditions, aren't there?

I can't cause it. I can't control it. I can't cure it.

Simulated "Like" button!

Jen -

"That I can control my behavior and my pain levels despite the emotional pain that it may bring. I no longer have to counter program...I just "sit with it".

Well said!!

One of my meditation instructions to help me let my pain be was:

"Don't just do something! Sit there!"

Sitting with it was hard, but it turned out to be a good skill to add to my tool kit.

I love to light candles also...

I love to curl up with a warm fuzzy sweater...

I weather the storm, but I also try to discover from where it came...

Kind of like a phsychological weather person...

Interesting post...

All my heart, Lila...

Since a child i developed what a "normal" person would consider "twisted" coping skill, which I won't get into. They got me back from the terror of those moments and to become calm again.
I also used humour, basically attempting to turn the bad into the good, but not really "good" more of a way of dealing/coping with those traumas. I use humour to this day to "bring me back" from those many darker moments. I usually keep those to myself, but have noticed that other abuse survivors (both men and women), often share this same "dark" humour. I also noticed it helped many to talk about what happened through humour, but it's definitely not for everybody. Mind you if someone who hasn't been through trauma cracks jokes, I'm sure I be explaining to the cops that he kept trying to head-butt my fists.lol Been there.
I also have a deep bond with everything that we share our earth mother with and find peace watching them, with my 3 dogs on the tops of that list. During those rough times I pretend i'm a buffalo, facing that storm head on, refusing to budge. Sometimes being really stubborn is a good thing...

Not sure what to say except I am still reallllly new to the whole thing. Havinb buried so much so long and so well.... My coping for what I *did* acknowledge/know was and remains humor, physical activity (not as possible now with my physical trauam stuff) and following the family creed of "bury it and walk away". Only it didn't stay buried. And it followed.

My therapist used wave imagery. But I am scared of water. (PTSD related, too, argh.) So I think "OK, today, stormy. Lotta stormy. But all storms pass. And there'll be more storms. But they'll pass. And as scared as I am of (fil in blank), it will stop, too. If it iddn't, I wouldn't be here." Most days I get as far as "all storms pass," but I'm still toddling in the first steps of this healing process.

And there are times when I can't figure out why they GO. Why they come? I've been able to figure out most of the time. But why do I have times they just forget to show up? I'd love to know so I can get me more of whatever it was! So far, no luck....

"Just the weather...." Yep.

I really appreciate all that has been written on this thread. I'm new to the site and am having a very hard time managing my symptoms. My terror still terrifies me - that is, gets me going to a very bad place. It is like getting caught in a wormhole. But I will try more to "go with it." I am still so angry that I have to deal with all this crap. How do you all manage the anger? I try to let go and forgive, but it just isn't there. I'm angry about all this pain.

I'm a Behaviorist (by trade and education, certified applied animal behaviorists). I know all about counter conditioning in animals; it's quite difficult and there is never an achievement of total desensitization, there will always remain some chance that the animal will still respond with a physiological fight/flight that does not involve cognition. Humans are far more complex (at least that's what science "tells" us although I can tell you the Dolphin class, including Orca, may very well be more intelligent).

My complex PTSD has been there my entire life but I didn't know it. The final straw was my daughter's illness, rapidly advancing, and then death. When the PTSD kicks in, I have zero control over it: my fight/flight becomes powerful and, although when younger I 'fought', I now want to 'run'. All the intellectualizing in the world is just that: thought process that occurs AFTER fight/flight response, perhaps a long time after (days).

Intrusive thoughts, for me, are extremely painful and almost always revolve around my daughter's tragic illness and death. At their strongest, I cannot stop them, just weather the storm. What I try to do is remember that I have had days where I could not get up off the floor or stop screaming (almost three years ago) and I have had days in the past 16 months where I have been joyful. Knowing this is possible: that I can "forget" and still live, keeps me going.

For me, (and yes, as a Behavior specialist I was taught this word as well), "trigger" IS A TRIGGER since my daughter ended her life with a shotgun.

It's a long horrible ride. I've always hated roller coasters. Always. My faith, proven by signs and things I could literally fill a book with, keeps me alive. The one true answer to moments of panic, fear, and autonomous reaction is PRAYER. It works.