I have the same problem and generally don't read there. It's very triggering and tends to have a lot of details with those maybe who don't have PTSD. We all do. We all tend to be rather gentle and not give too much details be it cause our difficulty talking about our traumas or maybe to be less triggering to our group. I don't know. I just know that I understand what you are saying.

I understand, too. I can't read anything in the newspaper about rape, can't listen to stories on the news, and if a movie has it in it, it really ruins my night. I've never even been to the rape forum here.

But you know what? You don't HAVE to go to the rape forum in order to heal. It's okay not to push yourself past your comfort zone. As you start to heal, your comfort zone will grow and you'll be able to do more without overloading yourself.

Most important (and I know I say this a lot, but it's so important) is to be gentle on yourself. Forcing yourself to go to a place that causes such fear and anxiety isn't helping you heal. Instead, it's almost like punishing yourself. Haven't you been hurt by others enough? You should at least be able to trust YOURSELF not to hurt you.

Give yourself permission to feel scared, hurt, anxious, and don't punish yourself for those feelings. When your mind and body learn to trust you not to hurt them, they'll be a lot more cooperative with the healing process.

Hugs,
Wistala

Hi,
firstly, the pain and fear is trapped inside you, in your mind and in your body. The experiences can be so overwhelming that you cant even have a response to them for years after. The grieving process can be so incredibly long.

The injuries we sustain through horrible or horrific crimes are often undervalued by even those closest to us. Its often our partners or a date or someone we know, or we were drunk, or we walked the wrong way home, or we were wearing a short dress. It is often our 'fault'.

We live in societies which dont value the sexuality of women in its true context, the givers and protectors of life, we have assumed value as commodities. Just look at the mags, the billboards, the advertising.

We are still given away by our fathers to our husbands for goodness sake. In most countries around the world, women's rights to their own bodies is questioned.

The legal systems still do not protect women and rape is often unreported because we just know not to trust the system. What is the rate of conviction for rape in your country?

So there's some reasons why we feel invalidated and not listened to. Rape is such an incredibly common experience to women world wide that in many countries it isnt even called that. Women just have to survive.

Sean,

PTSD, in my opinion, is a result of the Rapes. The RAPE was the trauma. I was raped, molested, as a child - hate talking about it even 20 - 30 years later. Have accepted it, can talk about it, just hate too. But, PTSD is a result of the horrible experiences you endured, the horrible experiences obviously still hurt. I don't think it is necessarily that unusual. Hope this helps. You definately are not alone!

God Bless, Chuck

I understand where you're coming from. I deal with some issues that I'd like to join support groups for, but can't. Mainly the sexual abuse and self-injury forums. The topics over there are too raw for me. I try to stick with my anxiety forum, and occasionally I'll check out the panic attack one or this one.

It's not that I'm trying to hide the fact that I have dealt with such things, but like I said. It can be hard even to read subject titles to decide which will be safe to read and which won't. The titles themselves are sometimes too much.

Thanks chuck and all your comments help. God Bless, Sean

To directly answer your question: "how come I am ok posting in the ptsd group, but when I go to rape group I lose it, start to shake, get mad and sad at same time anxiety goes up and I have to leave after less than a minute. Can not even force myself to join group. I thought I had come a long way, guess not."

This is just my personal theory, but I think I may have nailed it. I to was raped at the age of 7, I will save you of the details. When we come here to DS there is the ability to be somewhat anonymous and we can be whoever we want to be, we can just be some crazy avatar and a number if we want without giving anything personal about ourselves but when it come to our testimony we can be fully transparent save our identity which is freeing for us. This is not possible with group therapies.

Here we are also able to visit and revisit as often as we want. We can dip our toe in the water, then maybe we put our foot in the next time we visit, maybe it takes several times to get to the point that we are willing to wade around the waters to interact with people on a very limited level. Then there are some who jump right in, though they are few. So please do not be hard on yourself when it comes to how far you have come. You have found something that works and that is progress, so you have come even further and not the other way around.

I write this to glorify God, because if it weren't for Him I wouldn't be here to write this,
Jerry

Wow Jerry thanks and A lot of us would not be here if it were not by the grace of God. God Bless, Sean