I have been fighting the wanting to cut for a couple of weeks now due to being triggered for all sorts of reasons.  Today I ran into my Rapist, who I put in prison for ten years.  It's a small area and its happened before but this time he recognized me, I saw it in his face and I am freaking out, he stalked me before he broke into my house and put a butcher knife to my neck while my nine-month-old daughter was in the next room sleeping.  Am actually drinking at the moment which I know is not the healthiest coping skill but I have had about an hour in half of sleep in the last thirty hours or so.  I work at a DV/SA shelter and I worked last Friday and the new client disclosed a whole shitload on me, which is fine it's my job but vicarious trauma is a bitch too, then I did a double yesterday got off at seven this morning and I have training  out of town tomorrow and half to be up early so am staying up so I can sleep tonight and hopefully stay awake for training as those are my normal sleeping schedule.  So now I have to go deal with all that and I am not even real sure on the topic except its specifically for those who work in shelter/crisis line.  So hopefully I don't get hit hard tomorrow too cuz dammit I'm about to lose my damn shit.  I know that the majority of what I am feeling right now is due to lack of sleep, but I am also worried about the stress and lack of sleep and my FND acting up tomorrow.  FML.  These feelings won't last forever, and I know that but some prayers or juju or whatever ya got would be greatly appreciated.