Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
My stress/anxiety levels DID calm down over break... But now I'm back at school, back at work, and they are on the fritz again. We had an assembly at school today. I was left in charge of 90 kids, including beligerent, violent teen males. Why? One of my coworkers randomly hates my guts, for no other reason than I exist, and decided to not do his job and left me alone in the stands with a bunch of loud, disrespectful, attitude-ridden teens - INCLUDING one of my own kids who had said he wanted to fight me repeatedly today.
So I was alone, up in the stands, the only adult in a sea of kids, having to manage all of them.
I feel like my coworkers don't have my back. Like it's more important to this guy that he not be around me because of his own personal stress and irrational dislike for me, therefore it's okay to abandon me in an overwhelming situation? I was all alone!
This guy has no medical excuse. I have PTSD. I have a kid threatening me, and even thought I let administration know, they didn't do anything about the kid. What if the kid had decided, "Yep, I'm gonna make a scene right here in the gym and punch this teacher's lights out"? I would have been utterly defenseless. No one would have been able to help me in time. This isn't just a trigger - this is a legit threatening situation!
But no. Everyone else matters but me. I can be beat up, put down, and treated like garbage, but God forbid someone else feel discomfort at my presence. I have to suffer so everyone else can be happy. Everyone else's happiness matters more than my ability to survive. I'm expendable. That is the mantra life has pounded into my head, and I am sore afraid it is never going to get out.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
The one time my son fell asleep in class...he got in trouble for it.
Sounds like you're getting burnt out where you are. Any chance of looking for a job in another school district?
I'm with patti, it sounds like where you are is too much for anybody. If there's any way you can transfer elsewhere, I'd do it. It's not worth it to risk getting into a confrontation, getting hurt, or getting sued.
Me, I was being required to teach so many courses over my contract's load that I finally went to HR and invoked ADA legal accommodation for my PTSD just so I would only have to teach what my contract stipulates. My life is less stressful, but I'm on the outs with administration now, and was passed over for a promotion I earned. I'm going to take early retirement now.
I recommend a transfer instead.
I salute you, my Noble Warrior.
Keep venting. . . Sometimes it helps. Vent freely. Vent often.
I get that kids are special and some need extra help and all, but... Where's my help? Where's my support in my day-to-day life? Where are people advocating for me in all of this?
They're nowhere, that's where.
In the cabin I was in, I was actively suicidal and thinking of ways to do it without hurting anyone else. Meanwhile, 3 kids (not me) in the cabin started crying....Karen, Sue, and Linda.
Of the 3, Karen was the rich kid (come on...everyone knows...everyone says that it makes no difference, but it does). Sue lived in a trailer. Linda was being sexually abused by her father (I have no proof, and didn't know it at the time, but all of the signs were there).
Guess which kids got yelled at?
Guess which kid got a teacher sitting with her for 2 hours and soothing her.
We could ALL hear.
It was a real life lesson in that some kids really ARE more important that others...no matter what all of the adults said.
Big hugs. Maybe no one there knows, but I KNOW....who the real heroine in your school is.
I try my hardest to be decent to all my kids when they are having a rough time. I am patient with them, and I understand their struggles. I wish someone would take the time to understand me. I wish someone would not paint me with a broad brush and actually see what's going on inside me. Nobody ever does.
I'm just expendable, that's all. If I didn't show up, I highly doubt any of my colleagues would notice or care. Some of my students would, but they are the ones I give to the most. Maybe I do just really need a vacation and time away from all of this. I had a nightmare about an event I went through after all of this. Some good cleansing would help I bet.
You had mentioned that the people that get treated like fine china are kids at your school, and you don't get care. The reason, as I mentioned in my earlier reply, is the Americans with Disabilities Act law. They are being covered by it, so if they're not treated like fine china your school is in legal trouble. Unless you formally request to be covered by it, too, as an employee, which I did, you will not be treated like they are.
On the other hand, you mentioned "favoritism," and as I said in my first reply here, when I did invoke ADA law so bosses would no have me teach overloads any more, I fell out of favor.
If all you need is a vacation to relieve stress and therefore your PTSD symptoms, I'd say that's better than invoking ADA law in the workplace for your PTSD like I did. But if you have to, you have to. I did, paying the price of falling out of favor, but getting the benefits of a more fair work load.
Hoping for a vacation for you, pinkgnomie13.
I helped break up a fight in the hallway at school yesterday. I was restraining a kid per my instruction, and the kid resisted. The kid clawed my arm up and twisted around so they could grab my throat and choke me.
So... I'm home today, resting, with no voice. This is also due to a severe cold, so I have hot beverages at my disposal. Teas and the like. I am resting.