Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I get that feelings are not truths, but I’m having trouble believing people when they say things that they might even believe are true.
I’m glad you’re my friend
I’m glad you’re here
You are loved
I’m excited to see you.
I’m not okay.....one foot in front of the other, loving on my kiddos, meditating and scriptures and claiming Gods love for me. I’m afraid to offend people. I’m afraid to tell my friends how deep my trust issues are because wouldn’t they just stop trying?
I feel alone
I have a hard time hearing things that like “people are so sensitive these days, when I was growing up they put the fear of god in me....”
Maybe that’s what happened but that doesn’t make it okay.
In my house, the fear of Dad was worse than the fear of God and I did everything to keep silent so we weren’t punished for making noise after bedtime. Because I didn’t have a choice but do do what my brother said to do. He would not take no for an answer and he was stronger than me. Sometimes all he wanted was someone to listen as he talked soooo much. Sometimes he wanted to do things I didn’t want to do. And either way I was quiet because getting in trouble with Dad meant I had to listen to him be angry and he used to tell me how he wanted to kill our dad. That scared me. 9 year old me said no, very loudly and called for my mom. Dad was out of town. Mom didn’t come. He hurt me very badly that night. The next few years are a blur for me but at 11 I needed major surgery. My parents moved my bed downstairs and I remember my mom promising thst I would be safe there, that he wouldn’t hurt me. And he didn’t. I don’t know why she instigated this two years later I’d nothing else had happened.
I hate that I grew up to marry someone who was abusive. I hate that abuse is not as black and white as the abuse I grew up with. I hate that mind games and manipulation has such lasting effects. I hate that I can’t trust my friends and I have no one to talk to. I hate that I’m always smiling and everyone things I’m okay but I’m not. I’m really not okay. I sleep an average of 4 hours a night. So ready for this season to be over.
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
You were raised to fear...not surprising that you can't trust.
It was a painful and costly way for me to learn that as adults we can repeat the patterns from childhood trauma we thought we'd left behind. Fortunately, after my the divorce I found that therapist I write about here.
He was an actual PTSD specialist who could help me learn about myself. I learned my adult pattern was common among trauma survivors. Then I learned from him how to break the cycle of repeating patterns from my past.
You're not alone in this.
How can you trust when the people you should have been able to trust let you down so badly
Are you able to get into see a therapist who works with trauma??
I'm glad that you're here.....xo