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It has been a rough weekend. Partly because I have a cold and feel like crap (silly excise , I know) and partly because I am in one of my depressed moods. I have journaled a lot this weekend. I haven't felt good enough to go out and have just been watching TV and surfing the web. I have a therapy appointment Tuesday and am thinking about printing all 6 pages and bringing it for discussion. It is hard because I journal the real sh*t but never really talk about it.
I found myself googling Suicide By Cop and How to break a bone with the least possible pain.
I am so tired of needing to actively work on pulling myself out of this crap....just tired.
I am venting. i can't commit to dinner plans let alone a suicide plan.
Just feeling crappy.
I found myself googling Suicide By Cop and How to break a bone with the least possible pain.
I am so tired of needing to actively work on pulling myself out of this crap....just tired.
I am venting. i can't commit to dinner plans let alone a suicide plan.
Just feeling crappy.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Oops... Don't mean to get glib with your dilemma. You are not alone on that one, either. I've been surfing for houseboats and marathoning old tv series.
Hope the venting helped.
On the other hand, you're an artist extraordinaire in your ability to joke at even the darkest hour. When you said you couldn't commit to dinner plans, but less a self harm plan, I remembered having been there myself. You made me laugh in recognition.
I hope you get better from your cold, get a break from depression, and have a better weekend than the weekend you had!
Arfie...House boat...reminds me of an old Audrey Hepburn movie. I am on my 4th episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents.
Muji ...thanks for the well wishes.
I am just so tired of working on this. I wish i could be "normal". I wish I didn't have these terrible bouts of depression. I get tired of the daily struggle. I get tired of grounding myself, of being thrown into fear and sadness over an old song. I get tired of trying to talk myself out of self loathing every day.
If all my feelings are the same as everyone has i apparently have no coping skills. Bleh
I had to take a 3 year absence from mine, But now because she know I can with out a peep, she is getting better at not pushing buttons.
Vent is good,
J.