In group, they can hit yours pretty hard. No every one will knows your history and you can’t control the direction of a group like you can with a therapist. When I attended group, I gave myself permission to not be ok during group and to try and pull something good from the experience. I was triggered sitting in a combat PTSD group often. I learned to talk about it without crying in that group. Many episodes were difficult but I did move forward.

Did you move forward today?

My ex-spouse was so disrespectful of me and my PTSD recovery that she used my weekly face to face group time against me. F0r 5 years I went to my face to face group and talked about how hard I was trying to open up to her because I didn't trust anybody intimately because of my PTSD.

For the whole 5 years while I was in a face to face PTSD support group talking about how to love her better, she was using that time to commit adultery with a professor I worked with at my university. I would never have known it except for the fact that one week when I arrived my face to face group was canceled. Our group leader had committed suicide.

Rocked by that bad news, I went home early to find my wife cheating on me in my home at that time as she and her adulterous lover did every week. We got divorced, I went bankrupt, and I couldn't face going to work with that guy any more so I moved.

They went along fine as if nothing had happened. In fact, she flaunted their relationship to one and all. When her mother, my ex-mother in law to whom I as close, died, she made sure her adulterous lover's name showed up in the obituary and nothing about me was mentioned there. It was like she was proud to have cheated on me during my face to face support group meetings, as if that was the point.

I don't get it. She was just abusive. Still is. Some people are just bullies. It's not a fun think to talk about, but you deserve group support.

Group can be really hard. I start group again next week and because my therapist feels that I did not open up enough last time, I have a second group to attend. When that’s over I am supposed to attend yet another group. I know I probably need these groups, but I am afraid to open up. I really have trust issues..

I hope that you will be able to forget your ex and move on. Sending hugs and support.

Yeah, when my face to face support group leader committed suicide and then I found out that my spouse used that time weekly to betray our marriage, I wasn't a group enthusiast for a while. But I came back to support group work because, well, it works.. It doesn't prevent suicide, no, and it doesn't guarantee success in marriage, either. However, like nothing else it does put a person in the position of knowing for sure she or he is not alone in healing from life's traumas. It works.