Arfie, I find your posts deeply thought out, so much so, that I would LOVE to sit down with tea and talk with you for hours. Your mind intrigues me.

My PTSD is from childhood issues and religious abuse, the latter being the hardest for me to deal with. However, since joining DS I have been released from many of my triggers. Religion no longer is something I seek, so there is no more feeling of anger, no more feeling like "they" can take something away from me, for my spirituality is clearly bonded with a loving God.

Yes, I believe we all want to be valued, to be heard and respected. Each of us have the right to exist, even the most broken and hurtful. The intimacy of relationship through trust comes through respectful interaction, which often times has to be learned outside the core home.

I have learned to calm the ruffled feathers of many triggers by using "I-statements," which saves me from getting caught in the spin of defensiveness through "you-statements." The switch from you-to-I statements, owning rather than blaming, has given me healthier relationship with myself and with others. Just one way of exchanging my former language of word-weapons of old to better coping tools in the present.

I'd like to explore this topic further. Thanks for asking the question.

I think it's when people are going to describe specifics....at least that's why I would put those words there. Anything that might trigger a flashback or panic attack - for me reading detailed events would be triggering - different than what triggers me in real life.

I don't usually keep reading if i find something triggering from a "story" perspective and don't typically write anything that I think would be triggering in that manner because I think we've all been through enough. This is such a wonderfully supportive board.

So those are my thoughts.

My abuse came about because I was a missionary kid, so there's a religious component, but the war on our mission field gave me combat PTSD over 6 years. So when I give a trigger warning, it's usually in case I mention something graphic that might remind someone of their own trauma, like one of greatest hits, the gift that keeps on giving, which you know

TRIGGER ALERT

the incident in which my car was bombed in an urban terror attack with me in it. I figure since there are those among us who served in Iraq and survived bombings that were similar with improvised explosive devices, it's good to warn them.

Religious stuff doesn't trigger me. In fact, I became a hospital chaplain and talked death and dying, illness, and religion with people all day. Honestly, it was rich. Talking to atheist patients as a chaplain, when they still wanted to, was a gas in most cases. The very religious patient often shunned the chaplain in favor of their own brand of rabbi, imam, or pastor. With a chatty atheist you had the freedom to talk about anything, like we do here. Often we'd find that the image of God they didn't believe in was the same image of God I didn't believe in either, so we'd have more in common that we thought, even if I wasn't an atheist myself. You just never know, people can be fascinating behind the labels, I've found.

Muji

I have wondered if it would be better applied in the first person. The i-statements? To say,

"Be gentle with me, please. I, personally, am triggered and spinning like a wagon full of fireworks. I do not know what will set me off next."

This is a nebulous disorder. It moves like a cloud in the Andes mountains. Its next shape is impossible to predict. For me, anyway. I, personally, cannot predict it in my own head, much less my sister's head. I can, however, predict, "95% chance of thunder and lightening." trigger warning.

I would probably use "trigger warning" if I think what I'm saying is likely to upset someone more than usual.that often happens if i give details,or talk about a sensitive subject.Things like religion,talk of suicide,sexual abuse,etc.. ect....
Unfortunately these are also some of the things that I need to talk more about,but avoid because i dont want to upset people.
Sometimes no matter what anyone does,someone will get triggered because there are just so many triggers.Especially for someone who had years of abuse.We will get triggered over a color,phrase...sometimes we dont even understand why we are reacting the way we do.
Ive triggered someone before and just apoligized as I didnt mean to be upsetting.it's bound to happen .

Winter, you wrote: "Unfortunately these are also some of the things that I need to talk more about,but avoid because i dont want to upset people." That is the irony, isn't it? We come here precisely to name what is unnameable in most social situations in our daily lives. I know I do. So the very fact of coming here at all is to accept that being here might trigger something. It's great for people to give trigger alerts, but we do assume some responsibility ourselves just by joining the community in discussion. And some days we might not just be up to it, which can be fine, too.

If I recognize a memory trigger coming on when reading a post, I say to myself, "I'm uncomfortable, so it is time to distance." Curiosity used to get the best of me, literally, but no more. I do overview reading to get the content of pain without actually wallowing in the mire of their pain and mine combined exponentially. Rather than address the actual abusive event, I address empathy as a fellow human being and leave the rest to a trained therapist.

When I feel uncomfortable, I say so and have learned to do so with a sense of humor. I call myself Ms. O when I feel my OCD rising up. I call my PTSD pits-duh. When I feel my brain amgdyla raising a ruckus I say Miggy, my nervous Chihuahua, is acting up and spittin' her hysterical juices all over Hippo. My job in life is to give Miggy a stable environment so the hippocampus can re-grow. I am to work with my meds not against them. Those around me know the jargon and don't feel like they have to walk on eggshells, nor do I; I build new memory as I learn how to manage my disorders through owning not blaming.

Great topic, consider some have been held at gun point... So the word "trigger" itself is in fact a trigger.

By default, anything someone says potentially is a trigger.
Some women actually don't like flowers because its a trigger.

i do NOT like flowers...exactly John.

I put a trigger warning when i'm going to write about anything that i could possible think may offend someone in any possible way...

Or i'm going to write in graphic detail about sad or violent things.

Exactly reply #9.

If you posted a "trigger warning" and it still trigger or offended someone then is NOT your fault.They were warned.

This is not a relgious group per say...and atheists as well as religious people are welcome but neither can try to impose their beliefs on anyone else or be ofeended by a post not aimed at them in particular.....Just a story told the way it was.

I was abused by my very religious father Baptist/methodist and his wife.

lol....exactly john. i am a victim of gun violence so my trigger is an actual trigger. haha!

`trigger warning' to me means i am about to read something that was very difficult or controversial for the original poster to write, so therefor, i shouldn't expect reading it would be any different.

I was confused at first.

For me, my body sends me a signal when I have been triggered. For me, that's my warning that I need to talk myself down. I get a hot flash, get a little tingly, taste adrenaline in my mouth and my heart beats faster.

So that's what I thought you meant.

My trigger is when I perceive someone's treating me unfairly. I see red. Could be someone not slowing down when I merge into traffic, my husband eating a cookie as I'm making dinner... stupid things. I'm getting a lot better, though. I'm learning that the world's not out to get me. Just that my dad was, when I was a kid.