its all bad

Well said Arfie! I would agree. Hopefully we can sort the differences.

11by5: Welcome to the forum.

I left childhood believing all remembering was bad. I was good enough at living in the future that I forgot my entire childhood. The shrink pointed it out like it was a bad thing. The gift of forgetting carried a high price in my case. Eventually the gift carried over into my short term memory. Can't function well if you can't remember what street you are on. Meanwhile, through it all, the emotions remembered. Unpredictable reactions for all. The body remembered. Unexplained physical sensations throughout every day. Maybe it is all bad. All the more need for the healing. Can't wash wounds without taking off the dirty field dressings.

Thank you, drangon. Sorting the diffs remains an on-going challenge. I still tend to react negatively to all remembering. I didn't punch out that store clerk because she reminds me of my sister. I punched her because she was an arrogant, self-centered bitch. . . Sigh. Works in progress.

it is obvious to me you used intellectualizing to cope alot , and i think maybe that protected you ffrom the horrific emotions a child feels when vulnerable it is just amazing how us survivors are usually so unbelieveabley resilient to use what ever sources we have to survive sadly many times we shut down so hard we think we are living a good life but actually cut off from real feelings of horrific sorrow and rage of being used so brutally ,, i hear u arf keep venting it buddy

"When it sets off my mental health issues, it is a trigger. "

I agree but would insert "reactions" too. Many times I change how I react before I even know the trigger.Recognizing those as soon as they start makes me evaluate the why's.

free,
I only believe (don't feel qualified to speak for them) that several of my licensed pros agreed with you and carried it a step further to call that "intellectualizing" the root of my over compensation. Part of me is still trying to prove that I am more than "A White Trash Whore." Thank you for the encouragement. Works in progress.

Jewells,
"Reactions" definitely fits in there. My own reflexes react to triggers far, far faster than my intellect. My first reaction is seldom fair or appropriate. I typically have to work through a chain of emotional and physical reactions before I can even begin to engage brain. Another works in progress.

hey arf buddy funny you say TH WTH ,, i felt like that so much i came from what some would actually call white trash makes me sad i am proud of all of us who survived and as you did we all rose to become something,, ie overcompensating but ihave said to myself many times i felt like something off Jerry springer for the abuse i suffered at the hands of WT males sorry buddy all of us deserve to be treated with respect agreed triggers set off menntal health challenges