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Still trying to remember the details of my professional therapy. Just a patient. Strictly personal. Leaving the ex spurting to the experts. Just trying to loosen the knots in my own cranium. When I attempt to weave continuity into remembering the details of my decades of therapy, I find myself skidding like a madwoman on Angel Dust or whatever this season's coolest suicide drug is. I feel like a 60s "bubble-gummer" trying to understand what is being discussed in a 21st century Junior High School.
The specific therapy I am pondering this morning was suggested by an earnest young woman (name, rank and serial number forgotten) who counseled me at the Community College I attended immediately after I was discharged from the Army in 1976. I call her, "young" now, here from my geezer throne. At the time, I was 22. The old broad had to be over thirty!!! At least!!! She was the one who introduced the question, "Are you running to something or from something?" when I first started struggling with the doubts that I would ever be able to finish a degree plan with the kind of support I was getting from my family. I was living on my own and paying my own tuition with the help of the GI Bill, but I was still within easy reach of the family members who. . . Not much in the mood to tell that story again today. Not my favorite story on the best of days. . .
After we were both satisfied with the answer, "Running from, but sometimes that is the best available option," she shifted the focus to, "Healing as an orphan" and suggested a therapy funeral to help me commit to the need. Expecting help from my family was simply not realistic. I held the "funeral" privately in a forest not too far north from where I sit today, in the summer of 1977, on a meandering drive between Delaware and the University of Houston. It had one of the few Computer Science programs in the world in 1977.
I did a superficial web search a short while ago and didn't find much. Found plenty on "Toxic People." Wondering if the Toxic People Landfill would be the 2015 translation. . .
Just sorting. . . Sincerely. . . It is confusing me mightily. . .
The specific therapy I am pondering this morning was suggested by an earnest young woman (name, rank and serial number forgotten) who counseled me at the Community College I attended immediately after I was discharged from the Army in 1976. I call her, "young" now, here from my geezer throne. At the time, I was 22. The old broad had to be over thirty!!! At least!!! She was the one who introduced the question, "Are you running to something or from something?" when I first started struggling with the doubts that I would ever be able to finish a degree plan with the kind of support I was getting from my family. I was living on my own and paying my own tuition with the help of the GI Bill, but I was still within easy reach of the family members who. . . Not much in the mood to tell that story again today. Not my favorite story on the best of days. . .
After we were both satisfied with the answer, "Running from, but sometimes that is the best available option," she shifted the focus to, "Healing as an orphan" and suggested a therapy funeral to help me commit to the need. Expecting help from my family was simply not realistic. I held the "funeral" privately in a forest not too far north from where I sit today, in the summer of 1977, on a meandering drive between Delaware and the University of Houston. It had one of the few Computer Science programs in the world in 1977.
I did a superficial web search a short while ago and didn't find much. Found plenty on "Toxic People." Wondering if the Toxic People Landfill would be the 2015 translation. . .
Just sorting. . . Sincerely. . . It is confusing me mightily. . .
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Lately I've been feeling scared and full of anxiety. I recently found a lump under my nipple. I hurt my back too. I'm in the process of moving. I'm run down. Everything is hard
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
The good news is that, outside of this forum, I am still operating at a high degree of functionality. At least. . . No one seems to be dialing 9-1-1 when I open the closed door of my car to take a leak or feed my zoom toy. I am even doing reasonably well at feeding myself, etc. Not up to full meals yet, but I am keeping something on the stomach. I even ate breakfast after the meeting this morning. Well. . . still munching. Still not ready to count the cigarettes my mother and DIL both hate with pamphlet toting enthusiasm. . . Puff puff. . .