Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

10,127 Members
27,615 Posts
0 Online
Anxiety Disorders
/ Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

The Vanity of Social Anxiety

arfie
arfie

Trying to establish myself in a new region has me going over-time in the wrestling match between my human need to socialize and the social anxiety which urges me to isolate. Social Anxiety just might be my most therapy resistant psych symptom. However many therapy tools I throw at it, it just does its Pooh style shoulder slump and says, "Oh bother" as it turns and shuffles sadly back to its hollow tree. Lucky Pooh. Bears are genetically engineered for a solitary existence. Can't I be a bear instead of one of those pack-natured humans?


Recent go-rounds have left me marveling at the omniscient nature of my Social Anxiety. I don't know my neighbor's name but my Social Anxiety already knows what to expect from her/him. Why should I check out that group? My Social Anxiety already knows they won't like me. I don't need to ask what that person meant by that bizarre action. My Social Anxiety can read minds.


Am I making sense? Thoughts and reality checks welcome.

run2bfree
run2bfree
I know that push pull that goes on. We humans do need others but then some of them we could do without. It is about finding the right ones, and that can be a challenge. Either way I admire you for getting out and venturing a new region

I am looking to move so I am pondering all this too as I do not want to be isolated, but I understand the anxiety. Ugh
mlr0853
mlr0853
In my own world, I tend to isolate, and only want and feel comfortable with a 'few people' crowds get me going.

Pondering, would your current situation of 'flux, decision making, future challenges' be adding to the social issue?
fireflywings
fireflywings
I can relate, but I have been making a change in my behavior when I deal with social anxiety. I've been forcing myself to come out of my turtle shell and not make assumptions in advance...one step at a time. One relationship at a time. I don't have the expectation of making a ton of friends, but maybe one would be nice.

Can you take small social situation steps?
spacepony
spacepony
Vanity? Like self centered or narcissistic? Not sure I follow that, however I sure know Social Anxiety. It's considered quite resistant, and that's true for me. A constant uphill. Sometimes I can manage. I can have pity parties or indulge it (like becoming housebound), but it's real. Sorry arfie, it stinks. Little steps. Small goals. Wish you didn't need to deal with this. Tigger hugs :)
arfie
arfie
I nearly used the word, "narcissistic," but didn't want to trigger a media quoting frenzy. Narcissistic expertise is all the fashion rage this season. "Self-centered" works too except that it is one of my personal trigger words. My mother loved the term for manipulation purposes.

The vanity wonder of Social Anxiety comes from the certainties which I use to isolate myself. Under the influence of Social Anxiety, I KNOW everybody cares enough to have prejudged me. I KNOW everybody well enough to prejudge them before I know their names. By the time my social anxiety is holding me captive behind closed doors, I KNOW that disaster awaits on the other side of that door. How do I KNOW? Just gifted, I guess.

Dunno. . . Sorting. . .
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
holey toledy, great. i have that too. i am terrified of people. i don't trust people at all. and what that boils down to, is that i don't trust me to not have a nervous attack in front of people and get beyond embarrassed forever and ever, the end.
p.s. the end only means i stay in my house and don't do that again
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
toledo
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
is it vanity? is it vain? i don't think i am better than other people. it IS tempting to blame myself though - to think i am being selfish or some other THING. but it is not that, it is being terrified. isn't it?
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
woooops, back to the original question and not about me me me.

neighbors? new neighbors. i would maybe say hello the one first time and if they seem to want to chat a little, do that if you are up to it. oh, my goodness. this could be so difficult if you were having social anxiety. maybe your realtor can be with you? put it off until you are not by yourself.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • mlr0853

    Wondering???

    Posted by: mlr0853
    Last Reply: mlr0853
    3
    It's been some time since my last post...sorry. I've been going through a challenging time with the sale of my home, purchase of a condo and my adult asperger son that lives with me. I've had days where I couldn't get out of bed, days where I stayed in my pj's and days where all I managed to do was eat, drink fluids and take care of my Sweet Mia kitty. Sweet Mia came to me from a shelter about...
  • GTTMbutstillme

    Just a Login Note

    Posted by: GTTMbutstillme
    Last Reply: mlr0853
    2
    If I come to DS and it won't do anything when I click "Login", I go to a post, click and then click "Leave a Reply".  Then it will let me log in.Of course, sometimes DS just goes to "Error 504".  Then I can't log in.