Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I've grown in becoming diplomatic but assertive since joining DS PTSD. I've found people here to be more brave and honest with themselves than any group I've ever had the good luck to dialogue with.
I'm learning there's a third option other than fight or flight when my PTSD gets triggered. It's a slow process, to be sure.
But guess what? I'm finding that among all those "normal" people out there, there's a lot of fear, too. I've been so focused on my own triggered fear, and afraid people will notice. Now I see that they play the "Cover Your Ass" game a lot more than I realized.
I had occasion to ask some church authorities to make a decision on something this week, and a boss at work, too. Both times, you should have seen how they ran for cover rather than just answer the question. And it was an honest question that only arose from real day to day work and life, not a trick or a challenge.
I was in my boss's office at the college and I noticed what was on her walls. In my office are my framed diplomas. I love the subject that I teach--this week I got a guest speaker in to teach about PTSD and recovery in my classes.
On her office walls, though, arranged to be in the line of sight of whoever is her office visitor, were awards. She's a Speech instructor at the college. I don't say that to pick on her subject area. It just dawned on me, though, that by displaying her awards she was making sure anyone who came into her office knew she was a popular teacher.
It dawned on me. Those of us with PTSD are not the only people who get hung up on people pleasing. My boss is a good person with skills and values, one of the best. But I realized I couldn't get her to make a decision about what I was asking her because she's caught up in pleasing people. For her a decision that might not be popular with some others is a crisis that nearly tears her apart inside.
I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for getting past that sometimes. Hats off to one and all, my fellow DS PTSD amigos. And thanks for helping me grow a bit in this area.
Anybody ever notice the CYA game going on out there in the "normal" world?
I'm learning there's a third option other than fight or flight when my PTSD gets triggered. It's a slow process, to be sure.
But guess what? I'm finding that among all those "normal" people out there, there's a lot of fear, too. I've been so focused on my own triggered fear, and afraid people will notice. Now I see that they play the "Cover Your Ass" game a lot more than I realized.
I had occasion to ask some church authorities to make a decision on something this week, and a boss at work, too. Both times, you should have seen how they ran for cover rather than just answer the question. And it was an honest question that only arose from real day to day work and life, not a trick or a challenge.
I was in my boss's office at the college and I noticed what was on her walls. In my office are my framed diplomas. I love the subject that I teach--this week I got a guest speaker in to teach about PTSD and recovery in my classes.
On her office walls, though, arranged to be in the line of sight of whoever is her office visitor, were awards. She's a Speech instructor at the college. I don't say that to pick on her subject area. It just dawned on me, though, that by displaying her awards she was making sure anyone who came into her office knew she was a popular teacher.
It dawned on me. Those of us with PTSD are not the only people who get hung up on people pleasing. My boss is a good person with skills and values, one of the best. But I realized I couldn't get her to make a decision about what I was asking her because she's caught up in pleasing people. For her a decision that might not be popular with some others is a crisis that nearly tears her apart inside.
I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for getting past that sometimes. Hats off to one and all, my fellow DS PTSD amigos. And thanks for helping me grow a bit in this area.
Anybody ever notice the CYA game going on out there in the "normal" world?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
One such incident occurred about a year ago. I was working cleaning places to ready for new tenants... they loved my work, liked that I paid attention to detail, and taught young boys some tricks of my trade. What they didn't like, was that i witnessed crooked behavior.. from the property owner, and BAM, there went that job...
It was known I was being recruited to sell memberships for a legal advice service. The property owner has made a his money suing people. Long, sick, small town BS story ...
I wasn't what they bargained for... some 1/2 century old lady doing carpentry and cleaning for the town scam artist, who could help people from being ripped off by the person I was working for...
I never did sell those memberships ... I didn't follow through with that job... but the property owner gave me no more work to cover his butt... he knew I knew of some crooked things he'd done... and not surprisingly my rent has doubled... my trailer sets on a lot he owns..
It's just an example of the CYA game...
It's good to CYA in some cases... as long as in doing so, you don't uncover someone else's.
Jr- I can totally relate. As I teacher, I have *professional* opinions about students and the decisions made that impact them. God forbid I voice the unpopular popular opinion. How did they CYA? By giving me a poor review for daring to speak my mind when it comes to the welfare of my students. I'm ready to quit at this point, but it's too good of a gig. I do love the teaching aspect and I won't lie- the money's not great but you can't beat the benefits if you are the sole provider of a family.
Muji- I tried to make a post like this a few months back, but you are much more lucid than mine! I said that I was glad I have a label to my baggage. That way, I can tend to it effectively. We ALL have our junk. I think I'm lucky to name it. However, since we ALL have issues, I think at some point, people need to learn to accept responsibility for their actions as adults.
Once we have awareness, then comes accountability.
Here's a mind bender... What if a defense team, in the process of defending a client, gets him/her diagnosed??? Should that offense be explained AND excused? But THEN after the DX, the person cannot use that as a defense anymore since there is an awareness???
That's the ultimate CYA.
So, yes, we all have issues. Glad I know what mine are! : )))
My own CYA game has gone all the way to amnesia and isolation. Don't really believe I am all that far from "normal" in the game.
Muji