I haven't been on this site in a long time, but I find myself revisiting some of the same issues again and again. When I first found this side it was suffering intensely from PTSD and now it's more mild, but it still finds ways to visit me. I've been recently watching some really great YouTube videos by a woman who goes by the name of the crappy childhood fairy. Her insight had been very helpful to me. I can tell she is also gone through many of the same things I had in childhood and has struggled with many of the same symptoms. We can't do anything about what happened to us, but we can do things to  change how we self sabotage as a result of it. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention this resource to other people who suffer from complex trauma. She's really quite amazing and helpful.