Completing that circle is a dream of mine. I don't know when and how it will happen, but I care about symbolic moments like yours. I care about these questions. Heck, last night I even dreamt about meeting God and getting the completion of these answers. I tried reconciling with my abusers for 10 years until 2010. Then, sadly, as you know, when that got too toxic for safety, I had to break it off. Now I approach exploring the meaning of it all, as you put it, as an "orphan" though they're physically alive.

I say your ceremony was very meaningful, and yet it's meaning remains to be seen. Arf back at ya.

muji

this is my symbolizm and i do respect and understand need of completing the circle

i used symbolic letting go of pain caused with abusive disfunctional family at the time and out of family who caused me great pain too, in my symbolizm it wasnt about to bury any person it was to bear what was done to me, what hurted me so bad within meaningful symbolic way it kept me on and through and no one knew why i weard black, all of them thought im crazy, black wasnt allowed to be weard day by day unles person is in grief after losing family member

i didnt need ceremony, wearing all of black was enough

for me wearing black in symbolic way was breaking that circle and finding way out with so disturbed mind

circle for me means traped or stucked in were finding way to break it gives me a sense of being free

for some time when i was younger i weard all black, my family didnt aprove but they couldnt stop me either, it was my symoblic that helped me through the worst within meaning also, i still have days when im so disturbed, on these days i wear all black

i was able to reconect with mother and reason was i wanted answers on some questions and i didnt want to experience one more regret and guessing in some areas important for my healing

can we cry under the water ?

i have held innumerable private funerals too, but unfortunately, only for myself.

it was only a matter of time before one of them stuck.

A "letting go" ritual I enjoy is to sit myself by a creek or a river and find a simple, concise summary of what is bothering me. For example:

Fear of Mrs Manynames

I then fold the sheet of paper into a boat, place it on the water and watch it float away. Sometimes I follow it until it takes on enough water to sink beneath the water. Mrs Manynames is an elder sibling who refused to respect her symbolic funeral. For her, I watched until the paper came apart in the water and was reduced to compost. It was the last time I had to endure her quest for the next ex. Knock wood. She is only 62. Lord knows how many exes she can find between now and her real funeral.

These are very good ideas.... :)

when i was younger and deeply down without any help or knowing what's wrong with me i imagined in my mind over and over my own funeral before i would go to sleep creating it and how it should be done differently from night to night, it lasted for years and in my mind image i would be present at my own funeral and would see would anyone cry there

that was very sad time for me, i felt like no one cared about me, like no one would miss me at all

after this mind funerals i started to wear all black as a symbolic letting go of that terrible pain i experienced

now i dont have this mind funeral, either i wish i died or im scared of death when im hurting

May the circle be open and unbroken
May the love of the goddess be ever in your heart
Merry meet and merry part, and merry meet again.

Ironic, after Mother's Day and what we wrote about it here and what Milla Sofia wrote above, that the old folk/country song "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" recorded years ago by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band goes:

I was standing by my window
On a cold and cloudy day
When I saw the hearse come rollin'
For to take my mother away.

May the circle be unbroken
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

Muji, you are so cool. I remember the name Nitty gritty dirt band, never heard my little chant there. It's an ancient celtic 4 line chant. How wonderfully close things are.